So, for starters, is anyone reading this? Is there a point to writing this stuff online? Will anyone find this interesting?
ok, anyway it doesn’t matter. This post is about how I keep moving but the story keeps repeating.
So, I’m from little old Ohio where life sucks. Imagine me. gay, liberal, always wanted to travel and see new places, really into the environment, and as open as could be.
Now…envision Ohio. Rednecks, republicans, football jocks, cornfields, and christians (I hate christians and so i refuse to capitalize it).
So, life sucked, i was made of fun of ,blah blah blah I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. I always dreamed of leaving. So, i move to Chicago. I move to LA, I spend some time in Canada, and now finally Im here living in Melbourne, Australia. …and yet nothing has really changed. Its a new city but same story.
I still feel like the outsider. I still feel alone. I still feel so weird and unwanted.
Im 23, but I feel 70.
Ive never drank. Never been to a party. never been clubbing, never had a group of friends that I could always hang out with. I’ve just been such a loner.
It really hit me the other day that Im literally on the other side of the planet. Christmas is coming up and I will be alone. Ive got no insurance here, Ive got family, and no friends…. this is just one more locale in the global game of me running away from people because I have a way of burning every bridge I cross.
Is there anyone else out there who understands? Does anyone else feel so alone and isolated? Can I overcome this?
ps- having a bad morning and totally just typed without proof reading.