A Letter To Zac Efron

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Dear Zac,

Go fuck yourself.  I watched “The Lucky One” the other night and was blown away by your beauty (and please know, only your beauty.  That movie was shit).  Its not that I hate you….Its just that…well, I guess Im jealous.  Ok, so I do partly hate you, but I’m also partly jealous.  

Your perfect skin, your perfect hair, that ungodly charm you have and how you look cute just doing the dumbest things.  i swear, you could be drooling, staring out the window in a comatose state and I’d probably still find you to be more attractive than almost anyone else alive.  

And that six pack…and the chest….. and your little patches of nipple hair.   Oh God Zac.   You, me, and some roofies.  The things that could happen that night!  

Can you imagine a life where you’re not perfect?  hhmmmm?  hmmmmm Zac?   ….no?  I didn’t think so.   Born cute, born popular, and born with that fucking debonaire poise about you.   Not all of us can be like that you know. Some of us spend out lives sitting on the sidelines.  Getting picked last for sports.   Some of us grow up learning to hate the pretty people like you.  The world is just so easy when you’re pretty Zac, I don’t think you know that.  

Just one night Zac… all I ask.   It doesn’t have to mean anything, no one needs to know!  Our little secret, K?  

Call me,

The Dark Horse 

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