Monthly Archives: March 2014



So, for anyone who has panic and anxiety, YOU KNOW THIS FACE!  That little kid’s face is exactly how we all feel in that moment when that little voice inside goes, “oh bitch, you’re going down!”

So, what is it about roller coasters that is so scary?  And what is it about panic attacks that is so scary?

I mean, on a roller coaster we all know there is no real danger… but when you reach the top of that first hill and you can no longer hear the chain lifting the train, you know your heart always gets going.

Roller coasters are designed to fuck with your head and this is actually quite sadistic, but they’re designed to excite us by getting us afraid.  The mind can’t help but feel like its in danger when it sees its about to plummet down a steep hill.  You naturally release the adrenaline and all that fun stuff (well, “fun” when in its a situation like that.)

However, panic attacks are much the same.  The adrenaline gets going.  That fear of danger spreads… but what we need to remember is that, just like the roller coaster, there is no real danger.

Im sure most of you reading this are like me and have had multiple panic attacks…

Have ANY of them killed us yet?

roller coaster

NO OF COURSE NOT!   So why is it so fucking hard to not be freaked out by it?   Thats still a question I have as well.  But hey, were in it together at least.

And maybe we could all remember that just like a roller coaster, the panic attack will end. Our train will pull back into the station and we will get out of the car, feet on the ground.  Just keep calm and carry on.

Ok, now for the fun stuff, because everyone needs to smile more! 


This poor man….he is REALLY struggling here.



….but clearly not as bad as this girl is.


And I hate to make this post inappropriate but yes, this happened…


So apparently every year in the UK they have a challenge of how many naked people they can get on a coaster… I was torn between posting pictures of the hot young people, or of the really fat naked old people.. but I assumed I’d spare your eyes.




So get this shit, apparently it’s a thing for people on the Disney ride Splash Mountain to lift up their shirts!  There’s even a whole website dedicated to it! In fact, the problem got so bad that they literally have someone who sits in a booth inside the ride and looks at photo after photo after photo… If there is nudity, he deletes them before they can be shown on the screen!


I told ya this was real! hahaha! I love weird cultural things.. people are so stupid.



splahs mountain on-ride photo

ya baby ya!

Alright, enjoy your night!

~The Dark Horse

(not proof read as always)

ROSWELL , Or How A Crappy 90’s Show Is Making Me Love Life Again


So yes, I have just started watching this cheesy-ass show that used to be on the WB and was later moved to UPN (the true resting ground for any form of entertainment worth watching). Anyhoo, Ive fallen deeply and madly in love with the show.

For starters, It’s everything I want.  It’s this normal girl who lives in Roswell, NM.  Her life is changed forever when a fight breaks out at the cafe she works at and she is shot.  Suddenly this guy (who she’s secretly always liked and who has secretly always liked her) comes over and magically heals her.  She discovers he is actually an alien and she gets involved in a larger-than-life situation involving government secrets, epic chases, love, loss, and discovering there is more to the world than Roswell.

Ok, so why do I love this show so much?  Lets start with the lead guy, Mr. Jason Behr.


Awww…. come on look at that face.  What a cutie!  and there is also this…


Now, here are a few nicknames I’ve given him – Humpmuffin, Hunkmonster, and SitOnMyFace will all do.


But seriously, the real reason is because this show gives me hope that there is more to life.  I hate how boring my life is and how much…well… how much NOTHING I tend to do. I Work, I graduated school, and I try to hang with friends… but seriously, what has that done for me? What is that doing for me?  I feel bored.  Bored and unfulfilled everyday.


And all that boredom and that pent-up frustration and that feeling of wasting away leads me down into the depression and the panic and the anxiety.

I was reading this book called “Role Models” by John Waters and he was talking about how he’s always loved people and wanted to know people who lived “extreme lives”.  He admitted that they weren’t all the easiest lives, or the most stable.  But That an extreme life gives you something special. And I agree.

In Spiderman we all know the quote, “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”.  And I fully believe that, but i also believe that


For example, getting up, going to your 9 to 5 desk job.  Having the weekend off and going to the bars with your friends.  Sure, you can feel stuff.  You can have fun and feel pain and find love.

But think about a famous singer, or an astronaut or something.  Think of how nervous, and excited, and scared, and jubilant you would feel all at the same time right before you go on stage at a concert, or right before you release a new album filled with songs you wrote and hope the world will love.  Or, in the case of the astronaut, think of that moment… you’re looking up at the sky knowing you’re about to be blasted into the absolute abyss of space.   They live on a more extreme level than we do.  THEY FEEL MORE THAN WE DO.

And I want that feeling.  I want it so bad.  I want my life to mean something.  I want to be brought to tears and I want to smile and laugh so uncontrollably that people think I’m crazy, and I want to feel love and happiness, and YES I know that the capacity to feel great pleasure means you also have the capacity to feel great pain. BUT, HELLO BITCHES!  Ive got panic and anxiety and depression.  My life sucks.  Im already feeling extreme pain.


So yeah, Roswell is cheesy and whatever, but this show is giving me hope that I’ll find the happiness and excitement I’m looking for.  Its making me feel good inside.  Give it a shot, it might make you feel the same 🙂

Feeling Down? Let Me Blow Your Mind PART 2!

Alright lets get right into this!  I don’t know about you guys but when I’m feeling down I love to just hear some creasy facts and really feel like there is more to life and the world than just the boring mundane crap that I feel so bored and lost in everyday….so, here are some! 





Did you know that Hangzhou Xiaoshan airport (one the busiest in China, serving almost 20 million people annually) was grounded in 2010 when this UFO was spotted flying overhead?  To this day, the mysterious aircraft has still not been able to be explained.  Both the Chinese and US claim its not a registered aircraft that either country is aware of.  




Now here is a REALLY REALLY scary one.  Do you know of the famous 1970’s horror film, The Omen?   Do you know that the scariest part of this movie is what happened offscreen?   Quite possibly the most cursed film of all time.  Even worse than the strange death of four “Poltergeist” stars.  

The craziness begins before shooting even starts! 

Two months before filming, star Gregory Peck’s son commits suicide.  Gregory Peck, already in a bad place from the death of his son, boards a plane to begin filming of the Omen… when the plane is struck by lightning. 

A few weeks later, the executive producer of the film, Mace Neufeld departs Los Angeles… his plane is then also struck by lightning.

Think thats it?  Nope, the scriptwriter David Seltzer is on a flight during filming… can you guess what happened to the plane?.. struck by lightning.  

Executive Producer Mace Neufeld’s luck isn’t about to get any better.  The hotel he and his wife are staying at during filming get bombed by the IRA.  The IRA also bombs a restaurant that the major cast and crew are supposed to eat at that night.  

Before you get too comfortable with the idea of flying, more airplane drama is on the way.  The production company hires a plane to take overhead shots….however at the last minute the plane is rented to do a commercial flight.  The plane is rescheduled to do the the overhead shots in a few days…however the plane never makes it because on the initial day it was supposed to be used for filming it crashes during take-off  killing everyone on board.  

The Omen also hired a tiger handler for the set.  He was to serve as the overseer when animals are used during filming, as well as to council cast and crew to properly handle animals (having a professional present when using animals during filming is required by law).  However, during filming he had an “accident” where a lion grabbed him by his head, pulled him into the cage and ate him alive.  Also, during filming, the Rottweilers turned and attacked their handlers.  

The curse remanded even after filming stopped.  A few members of the crew for the Omen went to work on another film called, “A Bridge Too Far”.  The stuntman, Alf Joint, who was also the stuntman for the Omen film, fall off a roof during filming and is put in the hospital.  When he wakes up he says that he was pushed by an invisible force.  

And how comes the creepiest part.  Another crew member working on A Bridge Too Far who also had just finished working on The Omen was Effects Coordinator John Richardson and his assistant.  ….. Its an average day,  they are driving to the set… oh did I mention it also happened to be Friday, August 13th 1976 (Yes it happened on Friday the 13th).  but LA DE DAH DE DAH! Nothing to be afraid of here… so anyway, they’re driving when there is a head on collision.  Richardson’s assistant is decapitated.  Richardson stumbles out of the car.  bruised and confused.  When he looks up he sees that the accident happened right in front of a street sign that reads, “Ommen 66.6km”  


Ok, thats a sad one… here’s a more happy one to finish this off:


Did you know that President Calvin Coolidge, who served from 1923 to 1928, liked to buzz for his body guards to enter the oval office and then would hide under his desk as the guards would frantically search thinking he was kidnapped?   Can you imagine the moment when he pops out and goes, “Im alive!”  Oh calvin…..


Anyhoo, I hope this got you thinking about how crazy and unexplained life can be. Sure some of these things are scary, but still its interesting.  And it shows that there is more than meets the eye.  But more importability, that there is more to focus on in life other than sadness and depression and feeling down.  Just remember that there is still mystery in all of this! 

So Let Them Eat Chocolate (Seriously, its supposed to help with feeling down)



Ok, so im not the type to believe in media hoopla over stuff.  Which is why I never caught on to the Kombucha or chia seeds or kale chips. 

However after years and years and years of studies and millions upon millions of women using that fucking line, “blah blah blah chocolate is actually good for you… blah blah blah release the same feeling as sex”  I finally did some research and found it… its actually true. (PS- this picture is of my chocolate… and the Dark Ghana one is amazing)

Ok So basically this is what goes down:

“One of the ingredients in chocolate is tryptophan, an essential amino acid needed by the brain to produce serotonin. Serotonin is a mood-modulating neurotransmitter, the brain’s “happy chemical.” High levels of serotonin can give rise to feelings of happiness.”

On top of that Chocolate also contains a chemical known as anandamide which is also known as the “bliss molecule”.  Basically it gives you low level effects of what smoking pot would.  It also contains two chemicals, N-oleoylethanolamine and N-linoleoylethanolamine which mimics the effects of anandamide in the body.  

In fact, chocolate also contains antioxidants which help eliminate free-radicals in the body and in studies just released shows chocolate helps with digestion…. basically to make a long gross story a little shorter and less gross.  Dark Chocolate produces this bacteria thats too big to break down in the belly, so it moves to the colon where it is able to be broken down and the body turns it into a usable anti-inflammatory.  

Keep in mind it is the cocoa that holds the nutrients.  So the higher the cocoa or the “darker” the chocolate, the better youll be! 



So let us all be a little bit like Augustus Gloop and eat our chocolate!  (below are citations)

Yours truly, and not proof-read as always

~The Dark Horse

This Whole Malaysia Airlines Search Thing



Ok, so let me talk to you about this.  And sure, you can hate me.  You can find me appalling.  You can tell me I’m a spoiled person living in the first world, and I can’t fight with you on that, because part of me feels bad about this but….


It is a global race for this lost plane.  Likelihood that the plane was manually diverted.  The Plane LITERALLY vanished.  Conspiracy theories involving aliens.  No Contact From Passengers.  Radical Elevation Changes.  NOBODY HAS ANY IDEA WHAT TO DO OR WHAT HAPPENED

How did this happen?  

So, look, if you’ve read my blog before, you know the deal.  I have depression and anxiety and panic and blah blah blah, and this is an amazing distraction.  Something to really get the blood pumping again.  Really get my mind on other things.  I love it.

Just seeing the news reference cool locals like Kuala Lumpur (or how Australians say it, “Kwuala Loompah”  and then see blogs talk about “the new Bermuda triangle” or MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE “The flight abducted by Aliens”   UUUGHHH SSOOOOOO GOOOD! 

Even comedians, such as Pam Ann are talking about the incident, like this meme posted on her Facebook page:



Again, I know its horrible.  And the families of the lost passengers are mourning and are in the worst pain they’ll ever be in…

But isn’t there this weird magic in the air? THE ENTIRE WORLD IS TALKING ABOUT THIS!  Granted, it takes a tragedy to get everyone on the same page, but isn’t it kind of cute in a weird way to have everyone ON THE BLOODY FUCKING PLANET on the same page about something


I have my own story that I want to be true.  Now listen, this is horribly unlikely and stuff but OMG how exciting would this be???

Ok, here we go:

So yeah there was some kind of terrorist activity.  I don’t low who or what.  But the fact that the GPS system was manually turned off shows there was probably human intervention.  Ok ok, stick with me, so some terrorist group wants to use the plane for some later event and so they want to divert the plane to some deserted island or something. 

So they have oxygen with them and put on the masks.  They take the plane to 45,000 feet to knock out all the passengers out so they can’t call home.


They then land the plan on some random island or atoll in the pacific somewhere thats unpopulated, assuming to hold the plane there until media blows over and the group can bring more fuel via ship…  they were probably unaware that the plane can’t take off without a runway, so now they’re stranded and some crazy-ass LORD OF THE FLIES shit starts going on

So canibalism is going on.  Tribes are being formed.  Alliances are made.  (Oh have I mentioned the terrorists were probably killed and eaten by the passengers at this point.   And then 6 months from now ere FINALLY find the remaining surveyors and they’re all “native” and such.  Primal and doing what they have to do to stay alive, all Gilligan’s Island style!

Oh man, would be one hell of a story.  




Anyway, Im just finding this exciting.

So whats the lesson for today? … there totally isn’t one.  Im just having a good time…. OH WAIT! THATS THE LESSON!  Ok, so the lesson today is



Steady As The Beating Drum? Not A Chance



So I watched Pocahontas the other night.  Its such a good movie.  If you haven’t seen it, or if its been years since you’ve seen it, give it  watch again.  Its that good.

So it just got me thinking a lot.  So, I’m sure you all know the story.  Everyone is like “blah blah blah choose the slowest easiest path in life, because thats what you do” and Pocahontas is like…. no. I want adventure and excitement.  

I relate to that a lot, and I think a lot of you might as well.  Like i don’t understand the common person and they don’t understand me.  And neither of us will probably understand each other.  If you come form that mindset of “I just want things to be SIMPLE and EASY and STEADY” then how could you ever understand someone who says “I want my life to have IMMENSE MEANING and ADVENTURE and FEELING”.   

To bring it to modern day, its like the normal person being like, “yay! Ive worked hard all week, and now that its Friday I can’t wait to go to the bars with my friends”

to me, that sounds like a horrible dull and boring and mundane existence.  Id rather struggle and fight and feel pain and be spat on and   get hurt if I knew that it could lead me to a life where i could also feel immense love and passion and excitement.  And my job could be changing the world, and taking me all over the world.   

And just like I can’t comprehend their desires, they probably can’t comprehend mine.  



But just think, what would have happened if Pocahontas never explored?  What if she never met John Smith?  

What kind of life would she have had?  What would have happened to the village? 

Obviously I know in real life things didn’t play out like it does in the movie, I’m just using the movie as the example.



Now its time for the lesson for all of us today.  Think of the lyric, “Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest, come taste the sun sweet berries of the Earth! Come roll in all the riches all around you, and for once, never wonder what they’re worth”  

She said this to John Smith because she wanted him to just enjoy life.  Experience all it has to offer and not be consumed by thinking of manmade issues like economic worth, or political importance.  

But I think for us, people with depression and anxiety and panic…. we also need to just enjoy life.  Just experience the wonders around and not fill our minds with dread from the past.  fear of the future, worrying about some imaginary catastrophe thats around the corner.


Deal? awesome, lets do this!


~ The Dark Horse