I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs. Being INFJ and Sagittarius

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So, Salvador Dali was famously quoted as saying, “I Don’t do drugs I am Drugs”

Ladies and gentlemen this is the story of my life.

The common man will say, AT ANY AND EVERY POINT POSSIBLE WHENEVER THEY SEE ANYTHING ARTISTIC OR CREATIVE, that that person must have been so high when they made that.

Think to yourself.  Really think.  Remember The Matrix, Across The Universe, The Cell, Inception, Naked Lunch, and so on and so on.  How many times did you hear someone at school, or a person you work with go, “Oh my God that movie was trippy”, or “That person must have been so high when he wrote that”.

Dear world, some of us out there don’t need drugs or alcohol.  Our minds are at times, more beautiful, and at others, more terrifying than you can ever imagine.

I need to point out here that I was never big on astrology and never knew about the personality types until my therapist had me do the test. So I’m not the fru-fru mystical witch type.  

But once I started learning about it… it all just fit me so perfectly that I couldn’t just deny it.

Do any of you out there feel this way?  Do you feel like even though everyone tries to tell you it’s not real, there is just something WAY TOO TRUE about it all.  Everything just hits way too close to home?

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The example above is a perfect one.

When I close my eyes I see everything so clearly.  My thoughts play out like movies.  With vivid color, clarity, sounds, and speed.

I don’t need drugs to imagine what the devil looks like, or to conceive a complex story with interwinding plots and twists.

Trust me, my mind has shown me things so much worse than your worst LSD trip, but it’s also shown me a life so much more colorful and euphoric than your best.

And for the commoners, I know this makes you mad and you probably don’t believe this… In fact, I’m sure YOU CANT BELIEVE THIS. You can’t allow yourself to believe that some of us have a mind so much bigger and so much fuller than yours.  But its the truth.

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For me, I want so much more in life.  I want to inspire people, I want to entertain people, and I want to love people.  But at the same time, I hate people so much. Im filled with so much resentment and anger toward them.  Mount that on top of my desire for adventure and travel and you’ll find out that life is SO MUCH MORE than just drinking and fucking.  Life is complex and takes work, but can also be so insanely exciting!

Remember that book “Brain on Fire”?  I think that girl just felt what it’s like to be me for a month.

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But I digress.  It’s a blessing, and its a curse.  But mostly it’s a blessing.  I would never want to feel the way the common man does.  I would never want to be content with being a spoke in the wheel.

Did you ever read, “The Road Less Taken” by Robert Frost? And that famous quote at the end,

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

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And in college all the pretentious cunts were always like, “Oh, you know, most people believe that he meant the road less taken was the better path, but really all he means is that its different, not better”.

Well, Im gonna call em’ out.  If you’ve ever taken the road less traveled you’d know, that even though it brings pain, A lot of pain in fact, It also offers rewards so much greater than anyone can know who hasn’t taken that path. And you can’t go back once you’ve felt the presence of a life beyond the mundane.  You can’t ever close the door again.

So, even though there may be pain, lets keep walking.  Lets keep traveling down our path, diverged from the rest.

~The Dark Horse

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11 thoughts on “I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs. Being INFJ and Sagittarius

  1. Well, now that’s the first time anyone has ever, pretty much almost word for word echoed what goes on in my mind. I am known for saying this, since forever…” I don’t use drugs, my mind is on a constant trip!”. I think, instinctively, I’ve always know ( as everyone around me took to their drug of choice ) that I would literally lose my mind if I ever ventured into any of that shit. Same goes for medications. When the labels warn against possible side-effects or assure you of no side-effects I will experience all the side-effects and also have a reaction not listed on the box or bottle! Honestly, I should be hired out to Science…they’ll quickly find out side-effects they’d never dreamed of! The thing is, almost everyone I know is on something…and I’m the person they seek out for chats when they’re high! Go figure. 🙂 Same goes for therapy. No critique of it per se, but I’ve always ( again, instinctively ) avoided being psycho-analysed…even through the worst of my anxiety and constant panic attacks. Having always felt like a stranger in a strange land I figured no one would “get me”, I’d be pigeonholed with some mental disorder label, appropriately medicated and on file, somewhere. I still am on a roller coaster ride of anxiety, depression and such but now I just ride the ride. 🙂 I’ve developed a few coping skills, I try and avoid graphically violent movies, for example. Of course, all this has made my path somewhat lonely in spite of the fact that I am married and have raised five children ( homeschooled mostly ).As I explain it to my husband…I am bone-marrow lonely, it has nothing to do with being alone…but you’d know exactly what I mean. 🙂 I’ve traveled the world, worked as a journalist, owned my own vegan eatery and done a lot of ” things out there”…none of these attempts at joining mass society has made any impression on me, other than Humans are pretty much the same wherever you are /live in the world…if you stay long enough you become privvy to standard common arguments and complaints that highlight the human condition. Everyone complains about the weather! Lol!! Ok, so all this made me realise I was really very, very different to most humans. Not a comforting thought, until I stumbled upon the Briggs-Myers personality tests…and like yourself, I avoid these sort of things but it made sense, instantly…and then I read a few Blogs, and immediately related. Thank goodness… I was seriously beginning to think I was an Alien, who missed the bus back home! Sorry about this looooooooooooooooooong missive. Thanks for your thoughts, your effort in writing them all down and sharing. Thanks, much!!! xxx

    1. Hey! And Thank you for your response! And for me, therapy is what you make of it. I agree when I get a therapist who is really like “ok, lets separate all the different characters of your mind” and stuff I’m like…. dude I am not a Schizophrenic hahah! But I have therapists where we just talk. I just come in, ramble on and on, get their feedback, and it works really really well for me! For therapy I think its about finding who you click with and what style works for you!

    2. I just have to say I agree with every thing said I feel the same way about wanting to love everybody but hating them so much for not understanding anything. I remember when I was a kid I thought that I was from a different planet and my parents had kidnapped me and brought me to earth hahaha I realized now that there is just very few like us and I am so happy to be different and I wouldn’t take any of my pain and suffering away because it make me who I am and I wouldnt want to be like anyone else 🙂 my life feels like it hasn’t even started yet at 17 years of age I am always feeling like I need more and that I need to help more people. I could just keep talking about it forever but I am going to stop haha

    3. Oh Jen how your reply hit home with me! I too felt exactly like you and I understand the ‘bone-marrow lonely’ you refer too. What hit me though was how every time I take medication I seem to suffer the side effects straight away! Being told that it was too early to experience them in the course of the medication made me feel like an attention seeker but I am very sensitive to all drugs and when I have taken other stimulants they have hit me like a ton of bricks! It is such a relief to find this blog and read posts from like minded people, I feel a little less alone now and can be inspired by others who are further along their journey than I am.

  2. It feels so great to meet another straightedge person out there. I was once accused of being high on drugs when I was asking a complex question online that hardly anyone could answer. I don’t do drink alcoholic beverages nor do drugs.

    1. HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! Dude people ask if i do drugs all the time… and I’m like… because I’m creative? Creativity doesn’t come from drugs…it comes from creativity hahah! Oh the commoner…

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