So Ive been keeping a journal since I was 7 years old. A few hours ago I posted an entry from May 18th, 2013. About a year ago. Here is the link: https://youshouldseemyscars.wordpress.com/2014/05/22/journal-entry-may-18th-2013/
As you can see…. I was hurt. So badly hurt. And honestly Ive been hurt for such a long time. The anxiety and panic attacks I began getting in December here in Australia were just the continuation to the extreme depression and sex addiction I had in Los Angeles, which was the continuation of the horrible sense of failure I felt in Chicago which was the continuation of the shock and disappointment of not being accepted into film school in Los Angeles which was the continuation of my way beyond shitty youth.
So… can you blame a kid for taking the slow lane in the healing process?
I mean seriously! The mental breakdown I had in December was 14 years in the making! And I thought that 5 months was going to cure it? NOT A CHANCE!
I think thats a big lesson Ive learned actually. Not to rush the healing process. It took a long time and a lotta shit to put me down where I was in December so its not fair for me to hold myself to a high expectation and to think that everything was going to poof away in an instant.
For those of you reading this who are struggling or have just had a breakdown, I’m gonna say it cuz its not pretty or fun…. HEALING TAKES TIME… YOURE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL NOW
Thinking about giving up? Think its too hard? Well sir, (or madam) that I say….
There is no giving up! The world needs you. You are the smartest guys in the room! We have seen pain and therefore we know not to put other people in it. We have seen the light. The world needs us to be making the changes because seriously….LISTEN UP!
Look at this example:
This is random popular guy. Granted…. he’s very sexy and has big arms, a cute haircut, and has that beyond dreamy smile….wait wait stop! I’m getting sidetracked!
Anyways. So yes. He is sexy and good-looking. He fucks all the popular pretty girls. They go to parties. They get drunk and take part in teenage drama and hoopla.
BUT WHAT IS HE INSIDE? ….drumroll please!
Thats right people! he’s a flyin’ fuckin dumbass! He’s been handed everything. He’s never had to think for himself. He’s never had problems. He knows nothing about anything!
WE ARE THE ONES WHO ENACT CHANGE
People like random popular boy (though very sexy in high school) are well… just that. A sexy outside to a cotton candy fluff inside.
We my dears are the ones who will make the planet great. If you hate society like I do and think that it isn’t running properly YOURE RIGHT! But its up to us to change it!
So get on up off dat ass and lets start changing this world!
~ Much Luv To Da Homies!
The Dark Horse