Yes thats right! Im sure you all know what Im talking about. For those of us with depression/panic/anxiety, our happiness always seems to be so fleeting and short-lived. Partly because of our circumstances yes, but also because we have a tendency to get used to unhappiness and will find ways to ruin our good mood.
This, from what my therapist tells me, is normal. Its our safety mechanism going into affect. When you’re used to your life being so shit, when things start to seem good, our minds go…. Wait a second…. could this be too good to be true? Am I going to set myself up for failure if I let my guard down? And then it goes into hyperdrive and starts to find the flaw. Find the thing that is about to ruin everything.
But what we, and our minds don’t know, is that nothing is wrong. And by sitting there and trying to find the bad in everything we are actually ruining our happiness, because even when we’re happy we’re still only focusing on the negatives.
~ Im feeling good hanging with my friends! …I hope they aren’t secretly finding me to be annoying or making fun of me behind my back.
~ Im finally feeling good! Im out and about… I hope this isn’t the moment where my heart gives out and something really bad happens!
~ Sure…Im having fun now… but what about tomorrow? How will I make it through that day? Or next week? or next year? What am i going to do with my future??????
But look at mister happy bear!!!!!! He’s just enjoying life! he’s just living and eating and sleeping. not a problem to be had!
Or what about maniacally happy frog? Sure….. he’s a bit crazy and perhaps dreams of word domination… but those thoughts bring him satisfaction!
Right now I’m drinking tea and enjoying it! And yet in the back of my mind there is the thought that something can always go wrong… But not today! I’m making myself feel better by looking at pictures like….
so cheer up buttercup! Life can start getting good… right…..NOW!
~ The Dark Horse