When Im Sick I want To Be An Evil Villain

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Yes thats right.  hate me if you must but when I’m sick I’m a raging bitch, because being sick is SOOOOOOO miserable for me and I feel like I’m sick ALLLLLLLLL the time.

So yes here is the truth, you want to know my kryptonite?  Its the common cold!  Or the flu, or strep throat.  Whatever Ive happened to get this week.

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Oh yes.  Like Nancy from the Craft, I lose my mind and am taken over by a higher force…. an evil one.   I just want to infect the world with the illness I have and watch them suffer and sneeze and cough and struggle to swallow!

DAMN YOU CHILDREN WITH YOUR FAST METABOLISMS!

And your good looks, and your never-ending source of energy and hormones…. why am I falling apart constantly on the inside and you aren’t?

When I’m sick my thoughts are about as innocent as Mr. Burns…. as I plan to burn down the house of that really smart girl from high school who went to a better school than me!

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Or that football player who was a faster runner than Ill ever be..

OR BETTER YET!

WHY NOT TAKE THE WHITE HOUSE? 

YES YES THATS IT!   Why play petty games when I can take over the world?   I want everyone to know what its like for me when I’m sick! So ill enslave the masses, force them into cannibalism, and have them worship me like a God.  Then I will crush every dream they ever had…..yes yes yes!!! SLOWLY! PAINFULLY!

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YES THATS IT!  BOW TO MY EVIL SUPREMACY! 

There is no hope for this world…. not when I’m sick!

I WILL DESTROY THE WORLD!!!!!! …..Soon…..well soonish….

Well, my throat hurts and I’m tired… and Ive just ordered Chinese takeout….

Ugh… and a steamy shower sounds nice……

Maybe Ill just destroy the world another day?

 

This post has not been proofread because EVIL MASTERMINDS have no need for proofreading!

The Dark Horse (Or, Evil Professor Captain Night Dark Horse to you minions!)

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3 thoughts on “When Im Sick I want To Be An Evil Villain

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