Believing In Yourself When Nobody Else Does


Its one of the hardest things you can ever do, and for good reason too.  As humans we learn what is real, and not real~ normal and odd~ acceptable and unacceptable~ largely through our peers.  In sociology and psychology its called Constructionism.

But what if the social norm is wrong?  

For me, growing up as the gay liberal kid in a catholic school in Ohio I was obviously not a popular person.

Everyone hated me.

People asked me all the time what it was like to have AIDS (for all of you out there, no. I don’t have AIDS.  Especially in high school when I was a virgin, there was no chance of me having AIDS)  But of course its Ohio.  All people here know about gays are what they see in media which is queens, AIDS, and anal sex.

On top of that I had big dreams.  I always knew I was going to leave Ohio and go somewhere.  I was going to travel, try to reach out to the world, and hopefully change it.

again…. to my peers and teachers and principle and coworkers I seemed like a delightfully delusional little fag who needed to get beat up.

But what happened?  I did leave Ohio.  I have traveled and am so excited to move to New Zealand in September and continue my adventure,

And where are they?  Well…. Ohio.  With Kids. Working the good ole’ 9-5, and they all come with an extra 25 pounds that wasn’t there in high school.


So whats my point?

The point is that yes, believing in yourself when everyone else thinks you’re trash is insanely hard, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?  SOMETIMES YOU KNOW MORE AND KNOW BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE! 

Think I’m wrong?

The human race has ALWAYS  held beliefs that are wrong!

slavery used to be accepted IN LITERALLY EVERY CULTURE ON EARTH

The imprisonment and murder of Jews, gays, gypsies, war criminals, and the handicapped was considered ok by Nazi’s

Discrimination of blacks during Jim Crow in America

the gazillions of religious crusades throughout history


Are you starting to see how its possible that people could be wrong about you?

Now get out there and lets make tomorrow better than today.  Even if its just a little bit at first, ok?


~ The Dark Horse

(I think I proofread this one… or at least like kind of looked over it a tiny bit)


4 thoughts on “Believing In Yourself When Nobody Else Does

  1. Well put. There are two things that people believe that really irritates me. First I am a devout orthodox (little o) Christian (I am also a live and let live sort that doesn’t judge). So my faith is very important to me. But I am also sick and have some serious issues (as we all do). Nowhere in the Bible does it say that if we are good little Christians that we will be healthy and happy. Yet I get told by people (my mother most often) that if I had more faith, I wouldn’t feel anxious or depressed. That is complete bullshit. And that brings up the second issue. My mother would never say that to a person with cancer or heart disease, so it is clear that she and so many others believe that we are not really sick. That we are somehow just not trying hard enough to be better. I don’t feel many emotions because of the strong barriers I have erected which is why I think I can’t think of anything to say to a celebrity. But those things will definitely ignite some anger within me.

    1. Heres how I see it. I hate the idea of seeing depression, anxiety, and panic as an illness because it makes it seem so incurable.

      However, being someone with depression, panic, and anxiety, OBVIOUSLY I know how horrible and life destroying this shit is.

      but what I think has really helped me is making changes. putting yourself out there and doing things differently.

      I guess Id think of it like a broken bone over cancer. A broken bone will take you down while you have it, but with a cast, and some time, wounds will heal (obviously we gotta work towards it hardcore tho) with cancer it seems so deadly. There forever until it finally sucks the life out of you type of deal ya know?

      So i would challenge you to do something for 1 week. Go out and do EVERYTHING you want. Everything you’re afraid to do and ALWAYS HAVE THIS NUMBER ON YOU : 1-800-553-6633. Its the number for lifeline. When you get to the point where you want to just break down and cry or feel like you’re going to collapse call them and just GO FUCKING APE SHIT and LET IT ALL OUT!


      I can not stress that enough, use every resource available to you to keep yourself fighting!

  2. I also wanted to say that your attitude in an inspiration to me. I tend to sit at home and wallow a lot. But you go out a live life. I hope that I am able to work toward a better attitude. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

    1. hey I just sent you a long response on your last comment definitely check that out if you want to start living life again!

      just know, you will probably fall apart at least once, but thats how we heal!

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