So I’m at a point I think a lot of you are familiar with. The end of that hibernation period. That point where we are crawling out of our hole of depression, anxiety, and panic.
When I arrived in Auckland 2 weeks ago I got strep throat and an upper respiratory infection. This obviously put my life on hold. No job hunting, no apartment hunting, no making friends. This then led to me feeling massively down. Out of the loop. Feeling like this was just the biggest failure. Blowing all my money on having to stay in hotels. Eating thai takeout (which is truly the best cure for sickness….but really fattening).
But here I am. its Auckland New Zealand Take 2!
The gears are starting to turn again. Im starting to feel like perhaps life isn’t over. Maybe I can try again.
But at the same time, this is our most fragile moment. This is where somehow, despite all of our past failures and misery we have to get up. We have to dust the sand off our face and decide to tell ourselves that we will survive.
That this time, we can survive. We will be better and stronger than before.
Somehow, we have found more coal to throw into the fire. The steam begins to rise from the engine.
This is not over. Not by a long shot.
Oh yes, we may throw black smoke into the sky in the beginning. We are old, rusty, and dirty. This isn’t our first time being knocked down and Im afraid to say it may not be our last.
But people this is far from over.
Once we get going, I think at some point, we will find our sweet spot. We will never wanna stop again.
We will survive and thrive.
We were meant to be more and better than this. I mean really, isn’t that was mental illness really is? Our sensitivity to things that the commoner can’t even see?
Now lets use that to our advantage. To be strong. Not weak.
Lets roll bitches! No time to proofread!
~ The Dark Horse