Showing Your Anxiety Where They Can Suck It… With The Help Of Flight Attendants


Aright bitches, welcome aboard. The duration of this flight will hopefully be the rest of your life.  The destination of this flight will be a place called Happiness.  Now we may hit a bit of turbulence on the way.  Not too worry, these planes are made to weather the storm.

And always remember that.  Our planes are designed to weather the storm. (You getting the metaphor here?  Ok, Good!)

Now sit back and please listen so some important safety instructions


So lets start by telling your anxiety to fuck itself.

….Yes. Thats right. I said that.  And You should do it.

The main thing to remember is that anxiety is useless.  This is one of the things I’ve learned so far in my journey.

Yes.  The fear of death is good.  its amazing actually! its what keeps you from jumping off a tall building just cuz.

However, when this fear starts invading all of life itself it becomes useless.  For me, I have really bad health anxiety so I’m always afraid I’m going to die.  I know other people have insane fears of water or elevators, or maybe you have more of a generalized anxiety and so normal everyday things just effect you more than they do other people.

When it comes down to it though, none of these feelings are useful for us so heres what we do.

Kindly inform your anxiety that there are four emergency exits on this plane.  Two in the front and two in rear.  Then kindly push your anxiety out one of them…. but be gentle, the fall will painful enough for it (sinister smile)


Now don’t be surprised if anxiety manages to get back into the plane.  Anxiety has a way of doing that,  Its a pesky strong little son of a bitch.

If your anxiety manages to somehow crawl back into the plain tell it how sorry you are for being mean…


…and then respectfully throw it out of the emergency exit once more.

Now lets start healing ok?  During long flights such as this one called life, you obviously need to do things you love to keep from getting bored.  This can be anything.  I don’t care what your interests are (as long as they don’t hurt anyone).  Do it and do it without shame.  You’re a jock who likes gardening? Go for it!   A Girl who enjoys football? ,,,,ugh… I hate football… but hey, if makes you happy more power to you! ;p

Doing things we love helps keep the anxiety away.  Remember that!

Now, when the plane hits turbulence you may feel a bit panicked.


Yes yes yes….. turbulence is a bit scary.  But listen.  YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS!  As my therapist always said don’t let a lapse turn into a relapse.

We will get through just put on your life vest if it makes you feel better and incase we make a water landing….


….but i doubt we will need to.  We are all so much stronger than we think we are.

and always remember the next time your mind creates an image of a scenario that looks like this:


Give it a think.  Is this really how the situation is?  Or is this just our constructed image of it?

Maybe life can be better

Always remember that.  LIFE CAN ALWAYS BE BETTER.   No one is ever lost or stuck forever.  Keep fighting its worth it! 

And if anxiety ever comes again…. well…

turn around like this:


and push that fucking cunt out of the emergency exit.

Fly High!

~ The Dark Horse


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