So for starters I haven’t posted in a while because if you’ve noticed WordPress has recently updated and changed the login process and all my info was lost and blah blah blah….. sorry.
Anyhoo, lets talk mental illness. And for this I genuinely want your responses because this is a question I ask myself all the time.
How do you feel about this term? Im torn. On the one hand I feel like this:
I hate the term. To me it makes me feel like I have an incurable disease. Like depression is a lifelong systematic destruction of my body like Lupus, cancer, or HIV. I personally never say “I suffer from mental illness”. i feel like its just so dark and dirty. Like I’m almost admitting that it had complete control over me.
Have any of you been reading my posts from the start? If so you’d know back in 2013 and 2014 I was a fucking mess. I was literally collapsing on street corners and was seeing a therapist twice a week because I was so convinced that I was dying all the time.
The list was going on and on: Major depression, dysteria (the opposite of hysteria), social anxiety, agoraphobia, hypochondriasis, sex addiction.
Now Im far far far from perfect right now but hey, I managed to move to a new country by myself! Im currently writing this post in a public cafe, I have a steady job, and I don’t feel like I’m digit anymore (well…I still have my moments) But the point is, this hasn’t killed me. This isn’t a cancer.
But then I also think this:
But not everyone is me.
What if someone does have a serious mental problem that is so far out of their control they may not even know they have it? Split personalities, schizophrenia, and so on.
If mental illness isn’t seen as an illness what does that make them? Weak people who can’t get their shit together? Because I don’t think thats fair nor do I believe thats true. I knew a girl back in college who had schizophrenia and when she would tell me stories about how she would get these impulses to just do horrible things when she wouldn’t take her meds….well I was just fucking terrified.
So, what is mental illness? Is it a broken leg? Find the problem and fix it? Or is it a cancer? A condition that you’ll never get rid of. Just a festering disease rotting you away?
Or is “mental illness” with all its good intentions, just a horrible phrase. A blanket statement so broad and foggy that it shouldn’t be used?
Maybe there should be different terms?
Maybe something like depression shouldn’t be seen as the same “illness” as schizophrenia?
Does the term “Mental Illness” make it seem like any and all mental problems stem from the same mysterious “illness”?
Are mental problems fixable? Or are we all just fucked?
And lastly, is it possible that the reason people who suffer from mental problems have them for life due to a stigma form society? Maybe if they felt embraced to seek help sooner they would not suffer so much?
Maybe they wouldn’t have to feel the shame of mental illness?
So tell me! What do you all think? I genuinely want to know.
~ The Dark Horse
(no this wasnt proofread…. i never proofread :p)