So in the last couple of blog posts I had been talking about just saying Fuck It. I had been pretty down and feeling like shit for being in New Zealand and not making any friends or anything, when I came across and ingenious thought…. Fuck It.
Thats right. Fuck It. At the end of the day, none of this means anything. Embarrassing myself in front of others means nothing when Im alone all the time anyways (whats gonna happen? Ill lose my popularity? …funny joke right?)
Who cares if they tell you “No, i don’t know you go away”… lets be honest here… we were gonna be alone tonight anyways right?
I decided I no longer was looking for friends, but was HUNTING FOR FRIENDS
Thats right bitches. You’re the eagle, they’re the trout. Stalk and attack.
So I’m no longer being like…
“Oh hey hows it going?”
“Hows your day going?”
“What do you do for work?”
“blah blah blah blah”
“Maybe if you’re free ever we cold hang out?”
Because the common man is a fuckin idiot and is self-obsessed. The commoner NEVER thinks they have any free time. Everyone is apparently as busy as the President. I mean balancing their time on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and Buzzfeed is just sooooooo time consuming.
So instead my conversations have become more like…
“Hey hows it going?”
“Oh nice so what do you do?”
“Hey thats awesome, so I’m new here and am looking to make friends. Give me your number”
“Awesome, hows this weekend?”
And if you text them that weekend and they’re busy say, “Oh what are you doing?” and of course they’ll respond with whatever dog and pony show they have going this weekend and then you simply say, “Oh that sounds awesome, mind if I tag along? I need to put myself out there and meet some people”.
If they still say no well just set fire to their house in the middle of the night…. KIDDING… Ha…ha…ha…. i mean….
THE POINT IS THAT YOURE BUILDING A LIFE HERE!
Thats right people! Use those biceps and triceps and…. oh dear lord…. Feel free to stay at this part of the post for as long as you need before continuing. (Its about building…. get it???? Thats why he’s there…. I wouldn’t shamelessly put an image of a hot guy up here for pure eye-candy pleasure would I? This is a classy blog remember….Oh god I want him)
Where was I? Right! Building… thats what were doing! Building a life! Who cares if its embarrassing or messy! In fact, its actually working for me! I have plans for later today! (Im actually pretty nervous, but I’m hoping it goes well!)
So right…. what we need to do is,
Pound the nails into our walls to give us a sturdy foundation to branch from!
We must lay the pipework so our structures can……Idk? have pipes?
We must use the monkey wrench to tighten the screws on those pipes we need!
We must Chainsaw! Ugh.. Chainsaw our bad thoughts away? Or um…. Use the chainsaw to cut through the negative thoughts that fill our minds? Look… use the chainsaw for whatever the fuck you want to. Im gonna use it so I can stand next to this guy 😉
Alright but in all honesty remember. IT DOESNT MATTER. THATS THE POINT. Try and make friends! Who cares if its awkward or messy or embarrassing or doesn’t go well. Were already at ground zero! We can only go up from here!
speaking of going up…..
Room for one more boys? …excellent
~ The Dark Horse