Ah Yes, its that time of year. That one day a year when EVERYONE who has a date just loves to tell everyone that they have a date. The day where marriages that have lasted 50 years are rekindled once more, and when waiting girlfriends become excited fiancés.
Its also the day where lonely people like me sit in front of a TV watching chick flicks eating cookies and pie. Watching those lucky assholes have the time of their lives.
Bunch of fuckin cunts.
Ah yes my little lonely lads and lasses. Its just another holiday in our year that reminds us we are alone.
But perhaps this is the perfect day for venting, not sobbing?
Perhaps were are viewing Valentine’s day all wrong?
For you see, Valentine’s Day is also the one day of the year where those who do have love are kind of obligated to sit there and listen to us single people bitch.
….get where I’m going with this?
The new goal for Valentine’s Day is to ruin it for the happy people of the world! Yes…. yes yes yes!!!!!!! Put your bitter face on bitches cuz its time to ruin some poor innocent happy person’s day!
Put on your Hulk face its time to go ape shit!
See those happy people over there? Having a nice little picnic in the park?
HAVE YOU EVER HAD A NICE LITTLE PICNIC IN THE PARK????? NO!!!! OF COURSE NOT!
Now run over there and ruin it for them! Go on! Pour their wine all over yourself as you stomp on their cute little sandwiches he made to impress her! Awwwwww….. he even wrapped up the silverware in a cloth napkin just like a restaurant! …….GRAB IT! YES YOU HEARD ME! ITS YOURS NOW! You never know when you’ll need a spare fork and knife!
Oh, would you look at this beautiful restaurant? He must have paid a fortune to take her here. He must really want to show her how special she is…… assholes.
OOOOOHHHHHHH She’s soooooooo impressed. He’s probably gonna get lucky tonight huh….. Oh wait but look, you’ve decided to serve them the main course yourself… GO ON! WALK OVER THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT THEY WILL BE EATING TONIGHT!
MWUAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! Now at the top of your lungs scream PIGFUCKERS!!!!!!! and then run out of the restaurant in the most delightful and disturbing way possible!
But in all honesty, we shouldn’t ruin a good Valentine’s day for someone else. But sometimes its nice to imagine it. Get some of that bad energy out using our imagination.
One thing I do want to let all of you know is that you’re not alone….. Well i mean you are…. but I’m alone too…. so you’re not alone in the fact that you’re alone? get it?
If anyone out there is having an absolute awful day call these numbers:
for the USA call the Crisis hotline: 1-800-233-4357
For Australia call lifeline: 13-11-14
For New Zealand Lifeline: 0800 543 354
For all other counties find your crisis line here:
Please Note: None of these lines are for suicide only! Anytime you’re having a really bad day or suffering an episode of ANY KIND: depression, anxiety, mania, panic attack ANYTHING!!! They are there to help! Trust me, in my lifetime I have called all these numbers and you should never be afraid to!
~ The Dark Horse
…..this post wasn’t proof read, why? ….because its Valentine’s day bitches.