The Barefoot Contessa’s Recipe For Happiness

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Thats right people! America’s Sweetheart, East Hampton socialite, and gay men magnet, Ina Garten is here to whip up a little something special: Her perfect recipe for us to be happy!

Alright, so I think the first thing we need is: SELF RESPECT

Without self respect we become insanely vulnerable both to ourselves and others.   Without self respect we become easy victims to overeating, drug and alcohol abuse, letting people walk all over us, entering relationships with both friends and lovers who are probably nor really there for us…and so on and so on.  Without self respect where do we even begin?

What do you think about that Ina?

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…No Ina.   Good vanilla is great for a buttercream frosting but were talking about our lives here Ina!

….moving on.

 

I also think the next thing is FINDING HOBBIES YOU ENJOY

Now trust me, I know this sounds soooooo cliche but what else are we going to do?  As miserable people were already miserable (….duh)  And if we just sit around thinking about how miserable we are, all we do is make everything worse.  its a vicious cycle that feeds into itself.   We have to get up and do something!

 

Right Ina?

 

 

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Ina, are you eating?   Were supposed to be writing a blog post together about how unhappy people can become happy!!!!

 

…Rich people, WTF.

 

Number 3 is a hard one for some people.  And this is TO ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED IT!!!!

Now look, if you need therapy DO IT!  Im currently in therapy and I love it!  I think its great!  If you can’t afford it well neither can I!   Your local university can always set you up with psychology services for almost free or free depending on the school.    If you’re ashamed to ask for help, well don’t be!   Do you know most celebrities go into therapy?   The most popular and loved people on the planet are in therapy so why shouldn’t we be doing the same?

Are you in therapy Ina?

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Oh…. well i suppose thats similar to a stress ball method?  Letting out some aggressive energy.  Thats always a good thing I guess….

 

Number 4 is to remember to STAY HEALTHY

This is one I always struggle with personally.  When I get really down its just so easy to stop going to the gym, start eating take out, and lay around in bed all day.

And all that really gives me is the feeling of being lazy, pale, fat, weak, and sickly.   Trust me, it never goes well.

 

Ina, what do you do to feel better when you’re down? ….

 

….Ina? …

 

….Hello?  You know, Ina, considering you run a blog yourself Im kind of shocked how bad you are at this…..

 

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EXCUSE ME MRS. BAREFOOT CONTESSA!  Are you working on your own blog?   Were trying to help people here!

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….as delicious as that sounds I really think we should focus on making a blog post…. about helping people?  Remember why were doing this?

 

Anyways… so where were we…. helping others!  Alright Ina next one is you, what should the next ingredient in the recipe for happiness be?

 

….Ina? …..Ina?????

Where did you go?

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INA GARTEN GET BACK IN THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW AND LEAVE THE NEIGHBORS ALONE! 

 

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INE GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!

Ugh ok look, I have a middle-aged East Hamptonite running wild I have to go get her.  Just remember we all deserve happiness so do something for yourself today!  You deserve!

 

 

~ The Dark Horse

Sorry I don’t have time to proof read this, I have to go take Ina to the organic cheese and olive delicatessen before they close!

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