I Had A Panic Attack At The Gym Today (Or, Never Back Down!)

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So whats the picture you’re looking at?  Well thats my hand.  And whats all those red marks?  Well thats blood.

You see , whenever I have a panic attack at the gym and I feel like I’m losing my mind, getting dizzy, tired, and am going to pass out, I go to the locker room because I keep a blood sugar monitor in my gym bag.

So I test my blood sugar, and if my sugars aren’t low, I force myself to walk back out onto the gym floor and continue with my workout.

Thats right.

I go back out on the floor with a bloody finger and champ on like nothing is wrong.

And obviously, when you have an open wound and you start lifting heavy things it encourages blood flow and so your hand gets a little….um….. red.

 

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So why am I bringing this all up?  Well because dealing with depression, anxiety, and panic is all about never giving up.  Its about not letting your brain win.  You my sweet little luvmuffins must rise above and kick ass.

 

I will admit, this is a much heated debate between me and my therapist:

She says she worries its a coping method.  Like a drug.   You get anxious, you then test, you then feel better from the reassurance.  Much like, a smoker craves the cigarette, lights one up and feels the burn, then feels better.

I see it as, I have 2 options: Have a panic attack and embarrass myself so badly at the gym that I never return, or I challenge my belief that I’m feeling weak, see its in my head, and then I force myself to continue on.

 

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So what have we debated it out to?  Well, we have come to an agreement:   Testing the blood sugar is ok for the time being since I only do it if Im having a panic attack.  If it was a habitual thing (Like, if I needed to test once a day to make sure I’m ok) then it would be a problem.   But we’ve both agreed that shedding a bit of blood is fine if it means I will 1.) Continue the workout and not freak out and leave, and 2.) Continue to regularly go to the gym.

 

Whats so important about working out and getting some exercising?  Well Im so glad you asked!  Theres tons of reasons!  obviously, keeping yourself healthy mentally and physically is very important for anyone, but especially for us with mental health issues.

“Well hey that sounds dandy!  What kind of benefits does it have for us folks?”

Well I’m so glad you asked!  Ill tell you now!

1.)  The one I’m sure you’ve all heard of.  exercise releases neurotransmitters, endorphins and endocannabinoids.   These are basically the “happy drugs” your body creates.  These chemicals interact with your brain and basically tell it to cheer the fuck up.

2.) Secondly, while temporarily lowering the immune system while working out, it has long-term immune system defense powers!   Its the same with muscles.  Your body goes “Oh damn this muscle is torn! Lets patch it up with more muscle!   and thats how you go from this to this:

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Same deal applies with the immune system.  Your body recognizes your body is in turmoil during a workout and therefore ups its game in the immune system.  Hence, healthier humans.

3.) Better self-esteem.  We are humans (sadly).  And despite the fact that we all experience so much pain and misery we still have our basic animalistic side.  Being less sexually desirable effects us mentally….as it should.   Its part of sexual selection.  Its how the human race learned to outcompete through evolution.   Its why fit healthy people raise fit healthy children.  Their genes are stronger.  Ever hear people talk about how “family history” with illnesses gives you a higher chance of having it?  Thats evolution.

We are attracted to physically fit people because its in our genes to be.  Fucking a hot person will mean heather babies.   Therefore, making your physical health better, actually makes you in better mental shape as well because your self esteem goes up!

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Consciously we see this as a “hot guy”.  But the reason for that is because our bodies are saying, “FUCK THIS MAN! HE WILL PRODUCE STONG HEALTHY OFFSPRING!”  ….However, I have to admit for gay guys like me…. the purpose of our sex drive seems relatively meaningless i suppose considering that a man on man experience will never produce offspring…. anyways, thats for another post.

4.) Lets all be straight up and honest here…. if you’re miserable and depressed theres one sure fire way to make it even worse, and thats getting fat, and lazy.  Now weight gain has SO MANY MORE implications than just being less sexually desirable.  Your immune system gets weaker, the health of your skin gets worse (which is why fatter people always seem to have blemishes and why fit people seem to have the skin of Greek gods) cholesterol becomes an issues, blood sugar levels, blood pressure, muscle and bone loss.   Exercise will just save all of us a whole lot of hassles, especially when we get older.

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5.) Social interaction is another huge one!   Even if you don’t talk to anyone at the gym.   Just being there, being around people, having a common goal with them.  That helps!

For example, Im sure all of you are like me and have had days where you’re just so depressed that you haven’t done anything.  Perhaps you didn’t even leave the house?  Maybe you went on Netflix and binged 9 or 10 episodes of a show in a row?   (Oh you’ve never done this???…. hahaha……youre full of shit).   And remember how bad you feel that night before you go to bed?   You almost feel like you’ve lost track of reality?  Time meant nothing, you didn’t see another human for an entire day.  You feel sticky and puffy.  Being around other humans is good for us because were humans.

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Need more inspiration?  DUDE….HOT PEOPLE!

Now I hate being shallow and I’m not for it in any way….. however, I make the exception for the gym.  Exercise is sooooooo good for your body, and if your inspiration to stay at the gym is gawking at hot people and having fantasies of fucking them THEN DO IT!  ITS YOUR LIFE PEOPLE! …..Looking at all the hot guys at the gym is one of the reasons why I love the gym so much!  And I say that with no shame! ….well some shame…. ok….. thats pretty trashy.  BUT DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO PEOPLE!

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And remember…thees always the locker room 😉

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keep up the good work people!

~ The Dark Horse

(This post was proofread for the most part)

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