We Can All Make Friends And Find Love (And I Can Give You Proof)

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So when I get really depressed I start feeling like I’ll never find happiness. Like i’ll never find my group or find love.   Like life will always be shit…. but then I think about the facts:

Even shitty people somehow find companions throughout life… so surely so can I! 

 

Take this pile of trash for example.  Ok I will admit I’m not too knowledgable about the Kardashians but here’s my best shot

Top left we have….. I have no idea.  A random Sister.

Below her we have Kim Kardashian.  She got famous for making a sex tape, being married for 3 days, and now being married to Kanye West (I think I could safely say she is one of the worlds most annoying humans and is probably personally responsible for the downfall of our culture).

In the middle there we have Kris Jenner who got famous for being married to some famous lawyer in the OJ Simpson case.  Then she married random olympic guy from the 80’s Bruce Jenner (who has sense made a small transition you may be aware of)….and now she’s just like a really trashy mom.

Below her is I believe Chloe Kardashian?  And she’s really famous for Snapchat and Instagram?

I don’t know the other two.  I know there another sister named Courtney but with a K?

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The point is, look:   This is probably one of the trashiest, most shameless, pathetic, celebrity-obsessed families in existence and look!!!!!! PEOPLE LOVE THEM! 

If Whats-her-name Kardashian can get like 19 million follows on Instagram or whatever surely I can find 5 good friends in life.

And really how many more do we need?   I would love it if I could just find one great group of friends, and maybe fall in love….get swept off my feet…. that would be nice right?

And in reality that means all I have to do is find 6 people in a world of something like 7.6 billion or so?  (Fact check needed for that number)

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No bitch, but Im sure your entire family is.

Who even is that one? I swear to God they just throw random Kardashian-look-alikes on screen and pawn it off thats its just one family, like how they used to swap the Olsen twins out on Full House.

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Seriously… they’re convicted felons.    We got this bitches.   Seriously, if they can get people in their lives, then so can we dammit!

 

So what do we do to get out of our funks and find friends?

~Well Ive started doing bar trivia with a Meetup group and I think its actually really fun!   I recommend trying that site! 

~ Tinder anyone?     Look….I know its shallow and disgusting but the fact is our generation has become straight up retarded.  They literally don’t know how to interact with strangers in public anymore.

Woman will assume all men are preying on them, and will assume all other women are bitches.

Men will assume all girls are trashy sluts and are looking to be used, and other men are competition.

We sadly live in a world where to meet new people it seems like it has to be done online.

~ Try joining a sports team?  (ugh…. I hate that one because literally EVERYONE tells you “Oh join a sports team” when you tell them you have no friends…. I’m like BITCH LISTEN I grew up as the gay kid in Ohio….. I assure the Football jocks were the ones beating me up and therefore I don’t really have a desire to play fucking sports)

But hey…. if you’re into sports go for it why not?

~ Make friends at your work break-room? 

~ If you’re in school join clubs!   talk to classmates!   Force yourself into your roommates plans!  I will assure you that peoples willingness to talk to strangers drops by like 99% when school ends so therefore you are in the best possible place to make new friends! 

 

 

Feeling down?  just remember…..

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This bitch somehow managed to get a TV show, make millions, get married, have kids, and gain one of the largest celebrity followings in history. 

If she can do that we can literally do anything.

~The Dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “We Can All Make Friends And Find Love (And I Can Give You Proof)

    1. GOOD! 🙂 I love being able to brighten peoples day! Also, same back at you! I love reading your comics! They’re so innocent and friendly, yet tackle serious topics! Your blog was one of the first I started following when joining wordpress and is a total inspiration!

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