So I watched a war movie the other night and I couldn’t help but notice how much i related to it all. It was actually pretty crazy. A lot of aspects of war are like aspects of dealing with mental problems (whatever yours may be, I’m sure were all going through similar situations).
For starters, theres a sense of being “war tired”. In all war movies and war stories you hear the concept of boys entering the war and leaving men. Of innocence being lost. You hear them talk about how war ages you. A 27 year old ends his tour of duty being wiser than his 60 year old father. The feeling of being worn out, stressed out, and feeling like a piece of innocence has been lost that will never be returned.
Now I hope all of you out there are smiling right now because come on…. Do you not feel like this? I constantly miss the person I used to be. The kid I was back when I thought there was hope in this world. When I thought people were trust worthy. Back when I thought life was full of hope and promise. Before all the sleepless nights, the misery, the panic attacks, and the constant dread and feeling of hopelessness.
But you know what? This is war people.
I hate to tell you but just like a soldier fighting on the front lines we have two options. Fight and use all the brains and energy we have to survive, or die. For the soldier its a bullet to the head, or a bomb. For us, its a wasted life ended before it even began, the slow body-decomposition that comes with decades of stress, or worse, suicide.
Another concept you hear a lot from soldiers is the feeling of coming home and not being able to talk about war. There are lots of reasons why they think this…. people will judge them, they will be angry, their image of that person will never be the same, the fact that war is probably insanely hard to describe to someone who hasn’t been through it…..at the end of the day it comes down to: People Just Wont Understand
DING DING DING!
Any of you ever have that feeling out there?
Hmmmm….. I sure as fuck know that I do. How many times have you tried to describe to someone that how you feel is Misery. It is Dread. It Is Fear. It isn’t a “bad day” or a “rough patch” and how many of you watch that person’s eyes glaze over because they just don’t get it. Well you know, maybe we have more in common with soldiers than you thought huh?
Also, and most obviously of all…. were all fighting a war of some kind. It is a fight. They are on the front lines, and we are sadly battling with out own lives. But we know the pain. The misery, the fear, the exhaustion, and the struggle of fighting everyday.
So what do we take from this?
Well I imagine we should do what soldiers do. Remember that though it is hard, scary, exhausting, and sometimes it seems like all hope is lost…we have to remember that its for a bigger cause. If we don’t fight now, then when will we? Especially for mental illness, studies show that the more you lean over and just take it, the worse it will become. For example: The gym gives you anxiety. DONT STOP GOING! Even though you’ll go to the gym and have a panic attack a few times, the worst thing to do is to stop going. Because you’ll most likely never go back. And then you’ll notice that you’re having panic attacks for smaller things. Like maybe running at the park…. and the cycle will go on and on until you’ve got yourself complete agoraphobia.
Know You’re Not Alone, And That You Do Have The Courage And The Brains To Fight And Win.
~ Also id just like to say, I hope this post hasn’t offended anyone serving or who are returned servicemen. I think you’re brave and strong for what you are going through and have been through.
The Dark Horse