Amy Winehouse And Mental Illness

amy

 

So last night my flatmates started watching “Amy”, the Amy Winehouse movie.   They invited me to watch it with them and a slew of thoughts and emotions flew through my head, including:

1.)  This movie will depress the fuck out of me because it going to hit way too close to home…

which led to the thought:

2.) Because I don’t want it thrown in my face that people’s mental illness can kill them because I already deal with that thought everyday….

which led to the thought: 

3.) Besides all you people loved Amy Winehouse when she was alive and refused to admit she needed help.  You all just kept saying stupid ass shit like “Her struggles made her a better artist”, and you saw her as a tragic hero rather than a tragic human who needed help.

which led to the thought:

4.) And now that she’s dead and she has a documentary, her life is a tragic and passionate story of a tormented soul who slipped through the cracks of society and is now loved by hipsters everywhere……Even though she was clearly in need of help the ENTIRE time she was famous

which led to the though:

5.) And why is that when a celebrity dies from mental illness they become a hero but when a normal person does they become a weak person who was either a drama queen or someone who just wasn’t strong enough for life?

which led to the though:

6.) And nobody cares about me or sees my pain…..

which led to the though:

7.) So I can see why people like Amy Winehouse let themselves go and give in to drugs, drinking, sex, or suicide.   Because nobody will ever care….

So I just said….”No that movie will be too depressing” and walked into my bedroom.

amy1

So I’ll be open about this right here and now:  I don’t want to be alone forever.  I don’t want to die a miserable death.  I don’t want to die alone.   I want my life to be full and surrounded by people who understand and support me, and Im not afraid or ashamed to say it and neither should you.

~ The Dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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