So, I’ve recently started writing a book! It’s crazy exciting and I’m loving writing it. But there is still the depression and anxiety looming over me. It’s something that doesn’t just go away overnight.
I’m still getting all those fun thoughts like, “But what if this book isn’t good?”, “What if I have no talent?”, and “Maybe I’ll never amount to anything”.
Does anyone get similar thoughts sometimes?
Yeah, depression and anxiety are a bitch. But you know what, they won’t just go away. They are tricky little fuckers to get rid of. But with patience, practice, and perseverance we can overcome these obstacles.
Now granted, I can’t speak for everyone. But for me, I know I have gotten better over the years, and the reason why is because I have worked really hard. And yes, I have days when I think the world is horrible and I don’t want to get out of bed. I have days when I feel everyone is out to get me. I have days when I’m convinced I’m destined to do nothing but fail until the day I die. But at the same time i realize that in life we don’t have many choices.
I mean think about it. You can either: kill yourself, live a miserable and depressed life until you die, or fight fight fight to make things better.
And options 1 and 2 ARE NOT THE ONES YOU WANT TO CHOOSE.
So, here is what I’m doing right now. I’m continuing to write my book. It is my book. I love writing it, and I’m having a blast creating a story and the characters. So even if it never gets published, or if i’m told it’s complete shit, I will always have the good memories of making the story.
I’m sending the book out to people. Reaching out to people is important when writing. T get good feedback and ideas. PLUS, when it comes to depression and anxiety it’s always good to make sure not to isolate yourself! So, I’m having a professor read it, my therapist is reading it, and I’ve contacting some of my favorite authors and asked them to read it too!
I’m considering it a hobby as well as a dream. So yes, this book may never be published. It could suck. It could be complete shit, but you know what, at least I spent this time doing something rather than hiding under my bed crying about how much I just want an asteroid to crush into Earth and kill everyone like I used to…yes. I’m being serious. With how I was treated growing up, I used to want nothing more than to watch the world die.
So let’s review people. This is my experience, so it won’t mirror yours exactly, but I feel with depression and anxiety we all have relatable experiences.
1.) Remember to keep doing things you you love, even if it’s for nothing more than the fact that it is fun.
2.) Remember, to keep getting out in the world…even if it doesn’t always go well, and trust me from experience, it WONT always go well. But it’s still worth it! Let’s all make some friends!
3.) Remember to chill out. Things won’t always work out. But as long as you enjoyed the ride, the destination doesn’t matter so much.
~ Let’s live our lives people!
The Dark Horse