Monthly Archives: April 2019

My Roommate is a Trump Supporter Part 2

trump

So, the other week I made a post about my roommate being a Trump supporter and all the horrible and stupid shit he says.  Well, with the release of the Mueller Report, he’s gone balls to the wall, fucking batshit nuts.

Which is ridiculous. I’m a very liberal person. However, I fully understand that Trump will win in 2020 because Democrats can’t get their shit together and nobody in the country has the balls to hold the Republican party accountable for anything.

So, why he’s mad, I’m not sure…..

He’s literally guaranteed Trump until 2024 (vomits)

But what makes me so sad is that he’s dug himself into this little hole. He listens only to male country singers. He watches only Fox News. He reads only Alt-Right websites. He has no friends in New York and never leaves the apartment because he feels the people here are mean to him, and judge him for being a Trump supporter….

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WHICH IS SO FUNNY TO ME, BECAUSE AS A GAY GUY WHO GREW UP IN OHIO, I WAS CONSTANTLY TOLD BY PEOPLE LIKE HIM THAT I SHOULD JUST LEAVE OHIO AND GO RUN AWAY TO SOME BIG LIBERAL CITY WHERE I WOULDN’T BOTHER “REAL AMERICANS” SO MUCH. 

SO TO MY ROOMMATE, I’D SAY THE SAME – YOU CAN’T BE IN NEW YORK…THE CITY WHERE ALL OF US FROM THE MIDWEST HAVE TO RUN AWAY TO BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU… AND THEN BE MAD THAT NONE OF US WANT YOU HERE. 

YOUR PEOPLE CONSTANTLY TOLD ME TO GET OUT MY ENTIRE LIFE.

SO NOW I SAY THE SAME. 

GO BACK TO KENTUCKY WHERE YOU BELONG. 

bye

 

What was really terrifying though was the “stand-up comedy” he blasted from the living room the other day.  I have stand-up in quotes because I saw no comedy here. There weren’t even jokes.  I swear to you people, this is verbatim what was said —–

Comedian: You know who I really hate? Bernie Sanders! 

(Audience claps)

Comedian: What a fucking piece of shit right? 

(Audience bursts out laughing and cheering)

Comedian: Someone really needs to walk up to that motherfucker and just punch him in the fucking face! 

(Audience laughing uproariously)

Comedian:  Seriously, like, he wants to steal our money???? If he ever tries to steal my money I’m going beat the shit out of him!

(Audience going completely fucking nuts)

Comedian: I think Bernie doesn’t get that we’re powerful. If he ever comes for us, we’re gonna’ take him down! 

(Audience going so crazy I’m surprised the theater didn’t collapse)

 

People… this shit was scary.

Republicans went nuts when Samantha Bee called Ivanka a feckless cunt, and yet they have no problem with someone saying they’re going to beat Bernie Sanders to death?

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Ya’ll, we are fucked. These people are terrifying. Can we please get our act together for 2020?  Please? 

 

The Dark Horse

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TRAVEL>>> There Really is Nothing Better

mig

Next month I’m being flown to Mexico to write an article.  This is going to be the first time I’ve been paid to do travel writing. It feels like a complete dream come true!

I honestly don’t have words – what is there to stay that could possibly capture how accomplished I feel?  Growing up, watching the Travel Channel, dreaming of escaping my hometown in Ohio… and now, I somehow have one of those jobs that everyone going up told me wasn’t real.

I’m from trash-bucket Ohio. Once manufacturing died, so did my hometown. The mentality of my hometown isn’t “Work hard, you’ll go places!” Instead it’s, “The world will eat you alive! Ohio isn’t that bad! Do you know what your chances are of actually being successful? You’re just going to wind up back here with your tail between your legs!”

Like they say, misery loves company. 

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And let me make this very clear —–> If you’re the kind of person who enjoys coming home from work everyday and sitting in your Lay-Z-Boy to watch Real Housewives….THAT IS TOTALLY OK! I have nothing against you! The problems arise because most people who live their lives like are also the types to who hate the idea of others doing something else. That hatred is the problem. 

help

It almost seems like they are trying to keep others down. Like they don’t want to watch others do more with their life. That is what I hate. You should never have to be surrounded by people who clearly don’t want to see you succeed.

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Ah, but bitches, let me tell you….

Once you escape that cycle, life can get good. It can take a while, and it can be hard (well, it will be hard, unfortunately) After years upon years of having people shit on you, change doesn’t come overnight. The journey to happiness is surely an uphill battle.

 

But it’s totally worth it.

Trust me.

IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT.

 

mex4

 

Ah Mexico… on someone else’s dime.  Me, writing the night away.

Oh , god it’s almost orgasmic…

mex5

 

 

I may be pushing 30…but I’m finally starting to feel like my life is starting. My life is 1/3 over…and just beginning. But, better late than never, right?

Plus, I remember Steve Carell has that line in Little Miss Sunshine, where he says something like, “Your struggles are what end up making you good writer.”

So hopefully I have lucrative writing career ahead!

Hi ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ho