So, lets talk about being friendless. There are those of us out there who are alone all the time. Friendless, loveless, lost creatures.
The reasons why this happens are endless: Depression, anxiety, addiction, fear, desperation, dread.
But you know what, there is always hope and Im going to lead by example. I have found a “friend potential”.
Ok, let me set the scene. The apartment unit next to mine was empty until last week when a cute boy around my age moved in. I think he’s living there alone right now. All of our front doors share a big courtyard so I see him walk by my door a lot.
I think this is a perfect “lead” for a friendship. I mean right? He’s just moved into a new apartment complex where he doesn’t know anyone. Im relatively new to a foreign country. We have something in common. We are in a new space.
Whats that? You think this is weird? You think this is crazy? Well hunnybunches let tell you something. We are weird and crazy. We are the outcasts, the ones who don’t fit in. The ones who will always be different. Its time to get that and use your skills!
I don’t know if we will ever be able to make friends “the normal way”. And because of that we must hunt our new friends like a lion stalking his prey.
So, if there is one to take away from this post it is that we have to get creative in how we make friends. Meetup.com Tinder Even chatting up neighbors in your apartment buildings. EVERYONE is a potential friend (well, unless they seem like a shallow cunt, in which case, stay away) And the reason this is important is because If you’re like me, finding friends in normal social situations is IMPOSSIBLE!
And I’m just using myself as an example here, but when people are drinking and getting high, I literally can’t become their friends. Talking about shallow bullshit and the desire to feel cheap instant pleasure just doesn’t appeal to me.
If someone is with other friends who they more than me, and they’re sharing stories of the good ol’ days, I feel alienated and can’t feel comfortable. If they’re gossiping about people they both know, then I just get mad.
So things like making friends by going to parties or bars and clubs will never work for me.
The issues of my past have fucked up my present.
So, the hunt continues:
The cure boy next door literally just walked in front of my door! (Im sitting here blogging trying to make conversation as inviting as possible so I have the front door opened to let the summer breeze in (and the cute boy next door).
ugh, I’m like a little school girl, this is sad.
ANYWAYS LETS GET BACK ON TOPIC PEOPLE!
SO yes lets talk about the plan: Here is how its going to go.
step 1.) Im going to knock on his door and wait for him to answer
step 2.) Im going to say something like “Hey I saw you just moved in here, just wanted to introduce myself, I’m Keith. Moved here from America recently….something something something”
Thats a good conversation starter right?
step 3.) Then depending how the conversation goes one of two things will happen. Either he won’t want to talk and ill sulk back to my room feeling like a complete fool, a loser, a pathetic piece of shit who will always be friendless. Ill probably get a pad thai and watch some gay romcom and tcry myself to sleep
The conversation goes well. Maybe he’s alone in a new city just like me? Maybe he loves movies too. Maybe he has a weird obsession and fascination with airplanes, roller coasters, and bigfoot like me (don’t judge me bitches)
So the game now is the waiting game. I need to find the perfect time (Im thinking in the evening? the last thing i want to do is walk over to have a potential life changing conversation and then he’s gotta leave in 10 minutes and can’t chat)
Alright guys, I’m taking on a big crazy mission here! If I can do it, you can do it! Now get out there and make some friends!
~ The Dark Horse
Much like ground beef, the percentage of this post that was proofread was maybe 80/20?