Category Archives: celebrity

Feeling Alive Again. Or, Courtney Act on Big Brother Has Brought Me Back From The Dead

courtney

 

So, I don’t know how many people out there keep up with the UK telly, but something amazing was just going down on what is normally a generic and trashy reality show.

The 21st season of Big Brother in the UK just concluded and that shit was bloody brilliant! As an American, I didn’t know much about the show except that Courtney Act was going to be on the show.  Now, I’ll say, if I were 15 years old, I would have watched that show every night of the damn week.

You see, as a teenager, I used to love Big Brother….And you know what, I should probably have a Big Brother breakdown here for everyone, because Big Brother is completely different in every country around the world.

big

 

Here in the US, Big Brother used to be like a fucking marathon event.  The show was on, for no joke, almost 3 months. That means that everyone who made it into the top 7 got to stay for the entire 3 month period, whether it’s in the house, or the sequester house.  I know that in other countries, the show is only on for about a month. And then sometimes those Celebrity Big Brother seasons are only like 3 or 4 weeks.

Anyways, so as the gay kid in Ohio who was beat up and made fun of constantly, Big Brother seemed like a dream come true. It was this house filled with all these hot fun people, AND THEY WERE LOCKED IN WITH YOU….FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS! 

It just seemed like the ultimate way to make friends. You could be close to all these people, and you were never alone. The hot jock would have to get to know you because you were sharing a room. The pretty cheerleading type would become your friend because an alliance needed to be formed. The wise old woman who’s been through shit could give you advice all damn day because you’re sharing a house together.  It all just seemed so perfect! I was sure that the reason I was alone all the time was because nobody ever took the time to get to know me.  But, if they were locked in a house with me for three months they’d have to!  It would be like one big family at summer camp!

So anyhoo, I used to watch the show religiously. All the episodes.  They’d have the Sunday, and Tuesday, shows and the Thursday live eviction show.  I used to fantasize about being the house with them. Watching all these people share a bedroom, share a shower, share the hot tub, share everything.  For someone who was alone all the time, Big Brother was fuckin wet dream for me. I loved the idea of having people in my life…even if they did potentially want to vote me out of the house. I used to stay up in bed at night, fantasizing that I was a member in the house too; making friends, and living life to the fullest.  I used to love the hope and excitement I felt watching that show, feeling that some exciting adventure was just around the corner!

big1

But as I got older, the show lost it’s luster. I stopped thinking that every new person was a potential friend. My heart hardened. Walls were built to protect myself. I stopped watching the show.

 

But, something with this new season began to attract my attention. I started seeing news articles creep up about something incredible happening in the Big Brother House. This season of UKCBB (United Kingdom Celebrity Big Brother) was titled “Year of the women” because this year marks 100 years of women having the right to vote in the UK. The show was already leaning towards a discussion of gender, and threw in 2 extra dimensions into the storyline.

big2

 

The first was India, The UK’s first trans woman to be a part of a news team.

big4

 

And the second was Shane J / Courtney Act, a drag artist who was previously famous from Australian Idol back in the mid-2000’s (which Shane did in drag as Courtney and pioneered the way for others) and then more famously, Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

big5.jpg

 

And then to counteract all of this, they also brought in ultra-conservative politician and super crotchety old woman, Ann Widdecombe.

ann

 

 

So, sparks started to fly because India was just god-awful, and Ann was just an old dusty bitch.   But the entire house, and all of the UK began to fall in love with Courtney.  She had multiple conversations with everyone in the house about gender, sexuality, and performance. She was willing to talk to anyone about the differences between drag, and trans. The difference between gay and pansexual, and the difference between gender and biological sex.

She even took to debating Ann about some of the more conservative and Anti-gay policies she helped enact back during her time in parliament. But what made Courtney so amazing was her ability to always remain calm, collected, and willing to engage in any  conversation that may have come up.

big8

 

And everyone loved it.  She was the house favorite, and the entire nation fell in love with her for knowledge, self confidence, and beauty.  The UK as a whole even started a national conversation on gender because of what was going down on the show. She wasn’t just teaching the other housemates, but she was teaching an entire country, and thanks to the internet, the entire world!

 

So this is first part of where I started feeling myself wake up inside. There’s just something about Courtney Act that I need to be more like. I need to carry myself with her confidence. I need to walk into a room and actually feel like I belong.  Somehow, even though Courtney Act tends to look like a slutty drag queen Barbie, she ends up being the shining light in every situation she’s in.  I need to have the self love and respect that she has.

big9

 

Furthermore, during the season, Courtney Act managed to school everyone on gender and sexuality.  She not only carries herself well, but she is phenomenal in conversations. She took what could have been some very difficult and controversial moments, and spoke to housemates about them as if it were just the most natural thing to her. I need to be better at communicating with others.  

Check out Courtney given’ the boys a lesson on Drag and Trans:

 

 

So yeah, I’m a guy, and I have never done drag, but damn, there’s so much to learn from Courtney Act.

 

 

Secondly, there was a bit of a show romance happing in the show as well! There’s an insanely cute guy on the show named Andrew Brady (He was on the UK Apprentice or whatever…)

big10

So get this…. from the very first second Courtney Act walks into the Big Brother house, he’s in love with her.

big6

And from there… a Bromance/Romance began!

They started getting really close, and Andrew was constantly flirting with Courtney Act.

Throughout the show the “friendship” grew and grew…..

drew1drew2drew3

 

And then, as time went on, Andrew started like Shane, even out of drag… for a gay boy like me, it was like magic was happening.  A hot straight guy was getting along with a man who, out of drag, was an effeminate guy, and in drag was….well, a drag queen.  It was so amazing to see Andrew form this friendship and not care about labels or what other people may think.  He was just himself, and Courtney was just herself…and they connected.  It was amazing and heartwarming to watch.

drew10drew11drew13drew14

 

Oh my God…. they even had tub time one night!  It was fuckin’ amazing!  So yeah…that fifteen year old inside me who used to watch Big Brother hoping to find an amazingly close friendship… well, he felt super pleased watching this season.  I get those butterflies in my stomach again watching this season, just like I used to when I was a teenager. I find myself laying up in bed at night again, imaging myself in the house….Imagining some handsome straight guy was becoming my friend, and was having tub time with me too! I get this rush watching this season… a rush I haven’t felt in such a long time.  The rush of youthful excitement and passion and hope for some great adventure.  And ya know, I’ve missed that feeling…and I’m glad it’s back!

 

And You know what, everyone noticed that she was a shining light as well… because she won!

big11

Watch the win here:

 

But look, I think we can all be winners here.  I think we can all learn a lot about being your true self and letting yourself shine, even if your true self is something that the common man might find odd or different.  Courtney went into that house and literally changed people’s minds about the LGBTQ community and that is fucking amazing!   Let’s all try to be beautiful, engaging, and inspiring people! 

 

~ The Dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Lady Dynamite (Or, That Show You Should Totally Be Watching!)

lady

stand-up comedian (and personal favorite of mine) Maria Bamford has released a show on Netflix and its fucking amazing.    Its hilarious in all the good ways and also is stunningly true to mental illness.

Its called LADY DYNAMITE and its on Netlflix.

There are so many parts in this show where Im watching and going…. “holy fuck she’s nailed it right on the head!”.

 

Now I hate spoilers so Im not going to give anything away.  Ill just give a real brief, broad, and vague overview of the show.  It takes place in three time periods.  The “Past” where Maria Bamford rose to success as a stand up, got her big gig as the crazy Target lady, and appeared on TV shows.  The show also focuses on “Duluth”.  Her hometown that she returns to during her stay in an institution and her recovery back home.   And then it also deals with the “Present” which is about her life currently (and is also the most fictionalized portion).

lady1

 

 

Now what really makes this show so insanely special to me is that I don’t watch it going “oh the downfall of another person with mental problems….how sad”.   I watch it with absolute joy.  I resonate, relate, enjoy, and empathize with Maria Bamford.  And its so much sweeter because she is such a great person.   Its about her living with mental illness, not failing with mental illness.

There are points where I go “Dude, thats totally happened to me”.   and “Fuck ya Ive been there” and “Yep…thats exactly how people treat me”.    But never ever and I’m crying over it like some sappy drama.  Instead I’m laughing.   I just want to walk into my TV and give her a big pat on the back and laugh about it!

lady2

 

Now again I can’t keep talking about the show because I don’t want to give away any specific plot points or anything because I hate spoiling it for people!  What I will say is to YouTube search her as well.   She has done some really amazing and hilarious interviews about mental illness that I think are great and will probably give you a good laugh!

~ The dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Can All Make Friends And Find Love (And I Can Give You Proof)

trash1

So when I get really depressed I start feeling like I’ll never find happiness. Like i’ll never find my group or find love.   Like life will always be shit…. but then I think about the facts:

Even shitty people somehow find companions throughout life… so surely so can I! 

 

Take this pile of trash for example.  Ok I will admit I’m not too knowledgable about the Kardashians but here’s my best shot

Top left we have….. I have no idea.  A random Sister.

Below her we have Kim Kardashian.  She got famous for making a sex tape, being married for 3 days, and now being married to Kanye West (I think I could safely say she is one of the worlds most annoying humans and is probably personally responsible for the downfall of our culture).

In the middle there we have Kris Jenner who got famous for being married to some famous lawyer in the OJ Simpson case.  Then she married random olympic guy from the 80’s Bruce Jenner (who has sense made a small transition you may be aware of)….and now she’s just like a really trashy mom.

Below her is I believe Chloe Kardashian?  And she’s really famous for Snapchat and Instagram?

I don’t know the other two.  I know there another sister named Courtney but with a K?

trash2

 

The point is, look:   This is probably one of the trashiest, most shameless, pathetic, celebrity-obsessed families in existence and look!!!!!! PEOPLE LOVE THEM! 

If Whats-her-name Kardashian can get like 19 million follows on Instagram or whatever surely I can find 5 good friends in life.

And really how many more do we need?   I would love it if I could just find one great group of friends, and maybe fall in love….get swept off my feet…. that would be nice right?

And in reality that means all I have to do is find 6 people in a world of something like 7.6 billion or so?  (Fact check needed for that number)

trash4

No bitch, but Im sure your entire family is.

Who even is that one? I swear to God they just throw random Kardashian-look-alikes on screen and pawn it off thats its just one family, like how they used to swap the Olsen twins out on Full House.

trash5

Seriously… they’re convicted felons.    We got this bitches.   Seriously, if they can get people in their lives, then so can we dammit!

 

So what do we do to get out of our funks and find friends?

~Well Ive started doing bar trivia with a Meetup group and I think its actually really fun!   I recommend trying that site! 

~ Tinder anyone?     Look….I know its shallow and disgusting but the fact is our generation has become straight up retarded.  They literally don’t know how to interact with strangers in public anymore.

Woman will assume all men are preying on them, and will assume all other women are bitches.

Men will assume all girls are trashy sluts and are looking to be used, and other men are competition.

We sadly live in a world where to meet new people it seems like it has to be done online.

~ Try joining a sports team?  (ugh…. I hate that one because literally EVERYONE tells you “Oh join a sports team” when you tell them you have no friends…. I’m like BITCH LISTEN I grew up as the gay kid in Ohio….. I assure the Football jocks were the ones beating me up and therefore I don’t really have a desire to play fucking sports)

But hey…. if you’re into sports go for it why not?

~ Make friends at your work break-room? 

~ If you’re in school join clubs!   talk to classmates!   Force yourself into your roommates plans!  I will assure you that peoples willingness to talk to strangers drops by like 99% when school ends so therefore you are in the best possible place to make new friends! 

 

 

Feeling down?  just remember…..

trash6

 

This bitch somehow managed to get a TV show, make millions, get married, have kids, and gain one of the largest celebrity followings in history. 

If she can do that we can literally do anything.

~The Dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Zac Efron (Or, The Power Of Bitching)

zac

Dear Zac Efron,

I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been lusting after you for a long time…. I mean… looking at you for a long time now.  Fuck that doesn’t sound any less creepy.   Ive been….admiring?   No no thats all just creepy.

Looking at shirtless picture of you online?

Watch Hairspray religiously?

Keeping your Rolling Stones issue under my bed?

……ugh…. I don’t think Im sounding any less like a creep.

Anyways, the main reason Im writing this letter is because I’m just doing some venting.   When you’re feeling down its always good to sometimes just vent and rant and get it all out of your system.  And since I love and loathe you I think you’re a good person to let my frustrations out on!

zac1

Oh Zac, I sometimes look out the window longingly and think of how much I want you, but also hate you.

Like your big annoying muscles and adorable little chest hairs…God those bother me.  I mean who wants a young guy with pecs and a happy trail?  not me……haha…ha… ha… ugh.. (sigh).

Or that little grin you have?  Have you ever looked at it in the mirror?

zac3

You have? ….oh, yeah… I guess I look at your grin a lot too.

Oh yeah well how about that annoying way you lick your lips….. how stupid.

zac4

Oh God I melt when I look at you.

I mean I cringe!  Thats right!   You big hunky mans man that also has a sensitive side that could cuddle bunnies while fighting off lions!

you make me sick.

Remember your shoot for Mens Health?

zac5

Look at you lift that log with your big hunka-hunka biceps. I’ve done that before too you know!

Well… it was more of a stick-like twig I suppose but still, the point is stop thinking you’re better than me cuz you’re not!

Whats that?  You think Im crazy?   CRAZY?  … LITTLE OLD ME? (insert creepy smile)

No Mr. Efron crazy would be me kidnapping you and bringing you to some abandoned lodge in the middle of the woods and then tie and you up and have some 50 Shades Of Grey type love affair.  NOW THATS CRAZY! 

zac6

Oh Zac what can I say, I’m a lover not a fighter.  Im just releasing some frustration.  Sometimes you just gotta rant and blow off some steam.   Get the juices pumping so you can refocus and start getting your head on straight again.

And I feel like you’re a good person to rant at because you’re all famous, attractive, rich, and have a life full of friends and adventure, so if I say some shit it isn’t really hurting anyone.

Plus you’re a good person to rant at because once you’re locked in my basement nobody can ever know what i say about you anyways ha…ha…hahaha..MWUAHAHAHAHAH! (sexy wink)

zac7

Oh welll, I suppose I’ll be seeing you soon, when you least expect it

Love Always,

~ The Dark Horse

(So how about you guys reading this?  Who would be your favorite celebrity that you would write a ranting letter to whether it be good or bad?   Or potentially a bit creepy?)