Look, I understand that all you people out there are getting anxious and afraid of the dreaded holiday travel season that’s soon upon us. But I have a confession to make – I FUCKING LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!
I love the busy airports! The stressed out parents! The clink and clank of luggage! The erratic weather! The delays! Oh my god it’s all just too much fun!
I had my first Peter Greenberg sighting yesterday, which is the true sign of the coming holiday season! The second that CBS throws their old grumpy Santa known as Peter Greenberg on TV to warn the public of the upcoming holiday season, you know it’s on! The arrival of Peter Greenberg is like opening the first window of your advent calendar.
Once he arrives on your televisions… there’s no going back.
But, why would you want it to go back? Don’t you just love it so much? Take this for example – A study was just released (because news agencies just love a good holiday travel study) and it said that Chicago’s airports have the highest rates of delays during the holidays! The study said that for Chicago Midway, only 63% of flights reach their destination on time, and Oh’Hare was on’y 65%!
OH HARK! Oh Glory! Just think of it! Think of the carnage and insanity that must go on within Midway airport during the holidays. And it’s only 3 weeks away!!!!!!!!
In just 3 short weeks, it will be November 26th. And Chicago’s Midway and O’Hare airports will turn into the Hunger Games. Lives will be lost, only the strong will survive, and nobody will arrive to their parent’s house any happier than when they left. It’s just so wonderful!
Fun fact, Chicago’s O’Hare airport is where the famous scene from Home Alone takes place! Which, speaking of… Home Alone is all about frantic travel during the holiday season. It’s a true gem and deserves to rewatched year after year!
Oh lord… too much holiday cheer, I feel faint! I need some sugars or a nice hot tea. But oh, how can I quit now? I think what I need to do is google “Holiday Travel” and then read every. single. article.
Also, this year is extra special for me because, HELLO! I’m a travel writer now! This shit is may career! My industry! My life! I’m no longer a weirdo for following all this nonsense. Now… I’m a journalist! I get to write more articles that only further contribute to the insanity and fervor of the holiday season! God damn, life is good!
Holiday travel is just the perfect combination of events – According to Travel Channel, 67% of America is planning on traveling this holiday season. That means, 219,224,000 people will be traveling ALL AT THE SAME TIME, right as winter begins, and snow and ice, and sleet, and slush are everywhere! Literally, the holidays are a perfect storm for absolute madness!
So cheers everyone! let’s lift our eggnog in a merry cheer and…
May the odds be ever in your favor.
~ The Dark Horse