Category Archives: health

Alone On Valentine’s Day (Its OK To Be Bitter)


Ah Yes, its that time of year.  That one day a year when EVERYONE who has a date just loves to tell everyone that they have a date.  The day where marriages that have lasted 50 years are rekindled once more, and when waiting girlfriends become excited fiancés.

Its also the day where lonely people like me sit in front of a TV watching chick flicks eating cookies and pie.  Watching those lucky assholes have the time of their lives.

Bunch of fuckin cunts.


Ah yes my little lonely lads and lasses.   Its just another holiday in our year that reminds us  we are alone.

But perhaps this is the perfect day for venting, not sobbing?

Perhaps were are viewing Valentine’s day all wrong?


For you see, Valentine’s Day is also the one day of the year where those who do have love are kind of obligated to sit there and listen to us single people bitch.

….get where I’m going with this?

The new goal for Valentine’s Day is to ruin it for the happy people of the world!  Yes…. yes yes yes!!!!!!!   Put your bitter face on bitches cuz its time to ruin some poor innocent happy person’s day!

hate4Put on your Hulk face its time to go ape shit!

See those happy people over there?  Having a nice little picnic in the park?


Now run over there and ruin it for them!    Go on!  Pour their wine all over yourself as you stomp on their cute little sandwiches he made to impress her!   Awwwwww….. he even wrapped up the silverware in a cloth napkin just like a restaurant! …….GRAB IT!   YES YOU HEARD ME!   ITS YOURS NOW! You never know when you’ll need a spare fork and knife!



Oh, would you look at this beautiful restaurant?   He must have paid a fortune to take her here.   He must really want to show her how special she is…… assholes.



OOOOOHHHHHHH She’s soooooooo impressed.    He’s probably gonna get lucky tonight huh…..  Oh wait but look, you’ve decided to serve them the main course yourself… GO ON!  WALK OVER THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT THEY WILL BE EATING TONIGHT!



MWUAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!    Now at the top of your lungs scream PIGFUCKERS!!!!!!!  and then run out of the restaurant in the most delightful and disturbing way possible!



But in all honesty, we shouldn’t ruin a good Valentine’s day for someone else.  But sometimes its nice to imagine it.  Get some of that bad energy out using our imagination.

One thing I do want to let all of you know is that you’re not alone…..  Well i mean you are…. but I’m alone too…. so you’re not alone in the fact that you’re alone?  get it?

If anyone out there is having an absolute awful day call these numbers:

for the USA call the Crisis hotline: 1-800-233-4357

For Australia call lifeline: 13-11-14

For New Zealand Lifeline: 0800 543 354

For all other counties find your crisis line here:

International Crisis Hotline Listings

Please Note:  None of these lines are for suicide only!   Anytime you’re having a really bad day or suffering an episode of ANY KIND:  depression, anxiety, mania, panic attack  ANYTHING!!! They are there to help!  Trust me, in my lifetime I have called all these numbers and you should never be afraid to!

~ The Dark Horse

…..this post wasn’t proof read,  why? ….because its Valentine’s day bitches.

How Do You Feel About The Term “Mental Illness”?



So for starters I haven’t posted in a while because if you’ve noticed WordPress has recently updated and changed the login process and all my info was lost and blah blah blah…..  sorry.


Anyhoo, lets talk mental illness.  And for this I genuinely want your responses because this is a question I ask myself all the time.

How do you feel about this term?  Im torn.  On the one hand I feel like this:



I hate the term.  To me it makes me feel like I have an incurable disease.  Like depression is a lifelong systematic destruction of my body like Lupus, cancer, or HIV.   I personally never say “I suffer from mental illness”.  i feel like its just so dark and dirty.   Like I’m almost admitting that it had complete control over me.

Have any of you been reading my posts from the start?  If so you’d know back in 2013 and 2014 I was a fucking mess.  I was literally collapsing on street corners and was seeing a therapist twice a week because I was so convinced that I was dying all the time.

The list was going on and on:  Major depression, dysteria (the opposite of hysteria), social anxiety, agoraphobia, hypochondriasis, sex addiction.

Now Im far far far from perfect right now but hey, I managed to move to a new country by myself! Im currently writing this post in a public cafe, I have a steady job, and I don’t feel like I’m digit anymore  (well…I still have my moments)  But the point is, this hasn’t killed me. This isn’t a cancer.



But then I also think this:


But not everyone is me.

What if someone does have a serious mental problem that is so far out of their control they may not even know they have it?  Split personalities, schizophrenia, and so on.

If mental illness isn’t seen as an illness what does that make them? Weak people who can’t get their shit together?  Because I don’t think thats fair nor do I believe thats true.  I knew a girl back in college who had schizophrenia and when she would tell me stories about how she would get these impulses to just do horrible things when she wouldn’t take her meds….well I was just fucking terrified.


So, what is mental illness?  Is it a broken leg?  Find the problem and fix it? Or is it a cancer?  A condition that you’ll never get rid of.  Just a festering disease rotting you away?




Or is “mental illness” with all its good intentions, just a horrible phrase.  A blanket statement so broad and foggy that it shouldn’t be used?

Maybe there should be different terms?

Maybe something like depression shouldn’t be seen as the same “illness” as schizophrenia?

Does the term “Mental Illness” make it seem like any and all mental problems stem from the same mysterious “illness”?

Are mental problems fixable?  Or are we all just fucked?

And lastly, is it possible that the reason people who suffer from mental problems have them for life due to a stigma form society?  Maybe if they felt embraced to seek help sooner they would not suffer so much?

Maybe they wouldn’t have to feel the shame of mental illness?


So tell me!  What do you all think?  I genuinely want to know.

~ The Dark Horse

(no this wasnt proofread…. i never proofread :p)



Rescue Remedy Review!


So I was going to do this post as my last entry but then my research into the ingredients of these products led to me a lot of information on how flawed WebMD is and so I decided to post about that instead. (See my Rant Here)

But Anyhoo, should you buy this stuff?  I’m going to say sure why not!

(however, I’m not a doctor or a therapist or blah blah blah so consult with them if you feel concerned or whatever)

These come in a bunch of forms:  Tabs, sprays, gums, and everything short of an anal suppository.


I bought one of the gum packs while on a trip to Canada with my friend (or ex-friend it seems now…it was a disaster)

I chose the gum because it gives you something to do with your mouth.   I don’t know about you people but when I start feeling the anxiety and panic kick in I become a toothing toddler and just want to gnaw on something.  My cheek, my fingernails, straws, anything I can find really.  it just seems to help work out tension.


The gum is great.  It is a big chunk and has floral and citrus tastes to it.   I gnawed on it until the flavor was gone because after that it gets a bit rubbery and bitter.

And honestly, I felt a bit better afterwards.

Now would I recommend going for the gum as a cure for your panic attacks?  Probably not.  Unless the power of the placebo effect is really big with you.

But if you start chewing right as you feel some anxiety or a bit stressed it really helps.


Again, I don’t know if its because it gives you an energy outlet to be chewing, or if the thought of it helping actually helps, or if the ingredients actually do work.

But in any event, it made me feel a bit more calm.

Here are he ingredients in case you were interested in them: (Ingredients List)

Now for any of you out there who wants to take the cynic approach and say something like, “That shit doesn’t do anything, you only feel better because you think it helps”, well I will say this:

have you ever been to the doctor, therapist, or researched anxiety, and panic online?


So as far as I’m concerned, who gives a fuck if the shit only works because we want to believe it does.

more power to ya!

Case close, bam boom bing

~The Dark Horse (I forget if this was proofread or not, I got preoccupied looking at gum gifs)


Web MD. Should We use it? (I Will Say No And Here Is Why)


So this entire article started because I was about to do a review of Bach’s Rescue Remedy gum and I decided to go check all the health information for all the ingredients in it.  I started with WebMD and noticed something.

Every ingredient in Bach’s products are considered highly dangerous by Web MD.   

So, I decided to do some research on the validity of this shit so you people don’t have to.

WebMD is such a tricky thing.  For starters, it seems so official and real.  The reviews are written by doctors or provided by health companies and its so large and seems to be a database for almost everything so how could it not be legit????  Surely a site this large would have been sued or shut down by the government for misleading the public right?

Wrong.   Web MD is a for-profit corporation.  

Web MD is just a company.  And it does what companies do: Try to sell you shit.

Now as someone who suffers from depression, anxiety, and panic, I have been told by every doctor and therapist I have ever had to NEVER check Web MD.  It will ALWAYS tell you that your symptoms could be cancer, require prescription medication, or to consult a doctor.

In fact Web MD has been in multiple altercations where it has been accused of furthering panic and anxiety due to its exaggerated claims.

For further reading on this check out:

New York Times Article

So whats the point?  Why would WebMD want to scare people?

Well, to make money.


When I first searched Web MD I noticed Google showed its stock exchange name and where it stood on NAZDAQ, which immediately rang an alarm bell in my brain.  Why would a website offering health advise be a publicly owned corporation?  Who were its stock owners?  Who was paying this companies bills?

Well Eli Lilly (maker of anti-dpression medication) has a sponsorship with the company

check out this article:

CBS Article

Walgreens also has a partnership

Check out this article:

WAlgreens Article

On top of partnerships you have advertising in general.  For example, check out this screenshot I took on my computer when I just searched “headache” in WebMD

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 4.05.07 PM

Thats strange isn’t it?   What a convenient ad to have on the headache section.

So here is the question I had to ask myself:  WebMD claimed all the herbs and plants used in Bach’s gum is highly dangerous, yet its peddling drugs like a cheap hooker?

So what are your options?  Well many say go to Mayo Clinic before Web MD, but in my opinion I say check with many sites, maybe a pharmacist, and if the problem continues go to a doctor because any for-profit website online will have some corporate interest.  Its how they make they’re money.

check out this article:

TIME Article  (this article shows both sides…although I feel it shows favor to WebMD because it completely ignores many arguments given against WebMD)

Don’t let your anxieties get you down!

~The Dark Horse