Category Archives: music

Fall is Apple Season! The Best Fiona Apple Songs for Autumn

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We just had our official transition into Fall a few days ago, and October 1st is just a few days away. We are well on our way, chugging full speed into pumpkin pie, apple cider, horror movies, and Martha Stewart’s wreathes made from autumnal leaves and acorns.

Ah yes, Fall is the time for hearth-baked memories, cozy snuggle-wuggles, and of course, Fiona Apple. There is something about Fiona Apple music that just screams AUTUMN. I have been a huge fan of Apple’s since I first discovered Criminal in the 6th grade. Since then, she is my autumn playlist.

Here are some of the best Fiona Apple songs to get your Fall on. Ready for an Autumnal pun? … It’s time to fall in love with Fiona Apple…. Not funny? Well, I was also thinking about some sort of “Fiona Apple Cider” But that just didn’t work. SHUT UP! Stop making fun of me, and just listen to some great music:

 

Oh, Sailor

Oh, Sailor is the perfect combination of melancholy and bliss for the start of fall. Think late-September, early-October ran showers. When it’s still warm enough to have the windows open, but you can feel a definite cool rush of air fill the world as the rain falls down.

 

Paper Bag

That piano and the strange bass that lives within Fiona Apple’s voice.  This song is definitely for cloudy days when you’re wearing a jacket, watching the world slow down as it prepares for winter. There’s a pain to the song, which somehow seems to fit Fall perfectly.

 

Why Try to Change Me Now

An album dedicated to the music of Cy Coleman, Apple’s version of Why Try to Change Me Now is simply autumn in every way. Just listen to this song and close you eyes. This song is a coffeeshop, late October. The leaves are falling. You’re drinking something warm and most likely pumpkin-spiced. Don’t lie, you know you are. Accept it, admit it, and embrace it.

 

Criminal

Classic Fiona Apple. Classic 90’s. Classic angst. Just classic, simply, simply, Classic. This song takes you back to easier times. Back to pre-9/11 Autumns. Autumns before cell phones and twitter. Autumns when movies like I Know What You Did Last Summer were in theaters and you didn’t have to worry about a mass shooting every time you saw a movie….

 

Sally’s Song

Did you know Fiona Apple did a version of the classic Nightmare Before Christmas song? And did you know that it’s absolutely amazing? Throughout the month of October, this must be on your playlist. It captures the bleakness and creepiness that is October, and it’s a great way to get you ready for Halloween. Oh Fiona, you magical creature…

 

Frosty the Snowman

November can be tricky. It’s still autumnal, and yet, Halloween is over and the holidays are just a few weeks away… So what to do? Should you be celebrating autumn? Or preparing for Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Well… what if you could do both? Fiona Apple’s version of Frosty the Snowman is the perfect way to bridge the seasons. It’s a holiday tune that’s preformed in a classic coffeeshop style. So, this mid-November. Pick up a pumpkin spice or gingerbread latte, play this song, and enjoy autumn turn to winter.

PS – Did you read the news about Fiona Apple calling people out for sampling her music without credit or pay?  I’m #TeamFiona every day of the week! 

 

~ The Dark Horse

Spring Playlist to Destroy the Winter Blues

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So, if you’re like me, then winter brings you down… a lot.  I have depression and anxiety, and I always have to work on on keeping myself mentally healthy. And winter is always the fucking hardest.

I love Christmas. The lights, the music, the food, how busy the world is… but then suddenly comes January and February.

No sun.

It’s freezing.

No holidays in sight.

Everyone is sick.

FUCK WINTER. 

FUCK IT INTO THE FUCKING GROUND.

But now, it’s spring. We are above freezing (sometimes only by a few degrees, but IT’S PROGRESS PEOPLE, COME ON!) And I’m getting myself all worked up for better weather, longer days, and the adventure that fills the sir of spring and summer.

I’ve crafted a kick-ass playlist that makes me smile, makes me happy, and gives me energy. This playlist screams SPRING IS HERE! 

If you’re looking for some good tunes to help bring you out of your winter hole, give these tunes a spin!

 

18 WHEELER

P!nk

When you need to just really kick some fuckin ass in the shower, turn on Pink’s 18 Wheeler. I’m lucky to have a window in my bathroom.  With this song, on weekend mornings, I like to hop in the shower after my morning tea and roll up the blinds so the morning sun has illuminated my bathroom, and THEN I BLAST THIS SHIT TILL THE BASS FALLS OUT. Nobody brings out your inner-rebellious teenager like pink.

 

NTH DEGREE

Morningwood

This is one of those songs that’s so great because it’s totally inappropriate. Just remember…

M O

M O R

M O R N I N G

M O – M O R- M O R N I N G W O O D TO THE NTH DEGREE!!!!!!

 

PORTLAND, OREGON

Jack White and Loretta Lynn

I hate that Loretta Lynn is a Trump supporter. But, you gotta give her credit for being 86 years old and still crankin’ out records and touring.  Also, this song is so good because it feels just like spring. The song starts of slow, and then builds and builds into the honkey tonk-infused tune that always gets me singing along.

 

BREAKFAST

Kelis

I’ll be honest with everyone, I didn’t like Kelis very much. I thought she was kinda trashy. But then her album Food came out, and I was blown away.  Here, she removes all that synth-hip-hop shit and just sings. And it’s beautiful.  The culmination of the song comes when she sings the line “Maybe we’ll make it to breakfast.” And I’m just like, YESSSSSSSS!  Maybe she’ll make it to breakfast, and maybe we’ll make it to spring!

 

1979

Smashing Pumpkins

This song brings back memories of warmer months as a kid in the 90’s. And it’s funny because 1979 is Billy Corgan singing about the dog days of his childhood, and this song came out in my childhood…so, it’s like…the circle of life or some shit like that.

Point is, the song envois images of youth, and hope for the future. Prefect for spring!

 

Storms in Africa Parts 1 & 2

Enya

I listen to these songs every single spring, and have ever since I was 15. The songs are about the African rainy season, when torrential thunderstorms bring water and life back to a parched region. This song always reminds me of spring rains. April showers do bring May flowers after all. I always love the energy of a spring storm. It’s like mother nature defibrillating herself back to life.

BETTER LIFE

Keith Urban

For anyone who has read this blog, you know I love running away/  And this song always inspire me to run again. The purity, the energy, and the hope of being young. The idea that adventure is everywhere. The belief that life is fun.

What can be more spring-like than that?

The Macarena: The Most Diverse Music Video Ever

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Step aside all you obnoxious millennials who think you invented diversity. If you’re looking for the true trailblazer, you’ll need to go back… back to the 90’s. 

It was the summer of 1996. Independence Day was booming in the box office, The Craft had just been released that May, and Neve Campbell was about to be launched into an even further fame that December with Scream.

It was then, that an unsuspecting nation was introduced to the Macarena. Macarena fever hit hard. So hard in fact that even the DNC of that year was hit a Macarena outbreak.

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Since then, and this is embracing to admit…actually no it’s not, fuck all of you – I love the Macarena! It’s so damn catchy and so damn 90’s, it’s fuckin amazing.

So the other day, I was rewatching the Macarena music video (because yes, I do that. Got a problem? Call my agent!) and I was totally blown away.  I was like…

THIS WAS MADE IN THE 90s?

 

This music video is the very definition of diversity. And all of you 2019-ers should be ashamed of yourselves for not knowing about this important moment in music history.

Let’s meet our diverse cast:

 

The Singers

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The song is sung by Los Del Rio, a duo from Spain.  But look at this – How many hit music videos can you think of by men in their 50’s or 60’s dominating the charts? The Macarena directly combats agism!

 

The Brunette 

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Sure, blondes have more fun…but according to blondes! No matter what your hair color (or horrendous wardrobe choices…) all are welcomed to dance the Macarena!

 

The Indian Girl

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A study by PBS found that out of all the actors in Hollywood, only 4.2% are “Other”….yeah, that’s how disproportionate the number of Indian actors in Hollywood are. They’re categorized under “Other”, which would combine them with various Arab/Desi/Pacific Islanders/Indigenous peoples/and so forth…all to make up less than 5%.

pbs

So the true numbers of Indian actors will never be known.  What we do know that is that being Indian in the entertainment business can’t be easy. And being a woman in any job isn’t easy, so for an Indian woman to be featured in such a high-profile music video is huge!

This Girl… 

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I don’t what she is, or what the story behind the hair, the lips, and the outfit are…but here’s how I’m taking it – It’s all about being yourself.  She is the embodiment of body positivity, dressing how you want, and not giving a fuck.  Let’s all raise a glass and have a cheers to that cotton-candy wig!

The Latina

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Rocking out a satin pantsuit. That’s right – SATIN PANTSUIT –  A pantsuit so elegant, I can only imagine it would make Diane Keaton jealous. Our Latina (or Latinx, because I’m not here to assume genders) is surely ready for her night at the club where she will cheat on her boyfriend… you know… he one who’s name is Victorino.

But don’t worry,

She didn’t want him

She couldn’t stand him

He was no good so….

The Black Girl

(Can I still say ‘black’? I don’t want to say African American, because what if she isn’t from America?)

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Regardless of whatever the PC term is, one thing is for sure, I love this girl . That 90’s outfit, that Amazing 90’s hair. Everything. Pure perfection. Also, in the music video she competes to be the lead. Going head-to-head with…

 

The Asian Girl

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That shirt. That hair. That everything.  Oh man, 90’s perfection. This image isn’t too clear, but she’s also got on purple lipstick.  Daring and bold makeup choices…. UGHHHHHH THE 90s!!!! COME BACK!!!!!

 

The White Blonde Girl

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I know, I can hear you groaning. You’re probably saying something like #OscarsSoWhite, and then I’ll be like, that Oscars hashtag is from 2015. OMG get with it!  But in reality, diversity and inclusion means everyone…even white blonde women

(at least she’s not a man…am I right, ladies?????…crickets.)

Will that fabulous feather jacket help make it better?  Fit for a hooker, I say!

 

The Mom From ‘Blackish’

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The mom from Blackish denies being in the music video (yes, this got widespread enough  to where she had to respond) But, Macarena conspiracy theorists continue to insist that it’s her. And how could you not believe Macarena conspiracy theorists??????

The Scandinavian

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Had ABBA gotten famous in the 90’s they would have looked just like our Swedish girl in the music video. Plastic pants. Plastic shirt. And a plastic winter hat.  I have a feeling this was surely the most uncomfortbale outfit in the entire music video. But pain is beauty! 

 

The Jan

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Yes, that’s right. This music video is so diverse that it even has the forgotten middle child. Jan is so forgotten that I couldn’t even find a good image of this girl.  She’s literally hidden in ever single frame!

See, look!

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Let’s try again….

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Poor Jan. We can’t all be center stage though, I suppose.  I’m sure she has a great personality and is probably very smart.  Maybe she’s a lawyer now and making more than anyone else in the music video?

 

There you have it! The most diverse music video in the world! Now, put that song, and blast it loud!!! HEY MACARENA!!!!!

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Dance on my friends! Dance on!

 

~ The Dark Horse

Goodbye Earl (Or, Some Songs Just Make You Feel Ready To Kick Some Ass)

If you have never listened to and/or watched the music video for Goodbye Earl by The Dixie Chicks you are missing out.  It is one of those weird feel good yet wickedly evil at the same time type of songs.  Much like Kerosene by Miranda Lambert.

I won’t describe the song to you, instead here is the link, enjoy!

So do these songs have any importance? I mean it is seemingly a song full of hurt and lawless behavior right?

OH SO WRONG!

These songs blend sticking up for yourself with comedy!  They are (granted, in a sick and disturbed way) highly inspirational.

But as far as I’m concerned,  Ive kind of been through some stuff in my life and I have been treated like shit by tons of people.  So is it really oh so wrong that I find inspiration and comedy in a song about murder?  …Well i suppose you can all dictate that for yourselves.  I don’t think I’m crazy…(creepy wink)

earl2

Whats my point here?

Well its that I think when you’re feeling down, or feeling like you can’t go on, really feeling like you need some help making it through the day, WELL FIND YOURSELF THAT SONG THAT IS JUST KICK ASS.  THAT ONE THAT WILL GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO GO ON

So what if it is a deeply demented yet highly entertaining song?  I mean, go for it!

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~The Dark Horse

Any of you have some kick ass songs that make you feel good?