So, over the weekend I flew back to Boston from Ohio. I was scheduled to fly home on a Boeing 737, which looks like this:
I booked this flight back in August because a roundtrip home was like, $170 so I had to jump on it. Back in October, Delta changed our take-off time.
Then they did the same in November.
And twice in December…
And when I arrived at the airport on Saturday, I also found out that they switched our plane to a Boeing 717, which looks like this…
I honestly think I’ve only been on a plane this small maybe once in my life, years and years ago…
The engines are literally attached to the sides of the plane!!!!!! Dear Lord Help Me!
Then as we board, the captain comes on the intercom and is like,
“The weather here is pretty good, but when we arrive in Boston there’s heavy downpours and wind, so it’s gonna get pretty bumpy at the end…”
Kill. Me. Now.
On small planes, you feel everything. You feel every time the plane speeds up and slows down, every time it goes up and down, every time you make a turn. It’s basically driving a Mini Cooper at 400mph, 30,000 feet above the ground.
Luckily, everything was fine for most of the flight, but then as we hit central Massachusetts, the sun had set and the storm began. The seatbelt lights went on.
We descended into the clouds and then stayed there for a good half hour, why? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.
When you looked out the window, it looked like we were in a tornado. The lights on the wing illuminated the sky directly around the plane, and all you could see was raging rain flying all around. Remember that scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy looks out the window in the tornado? it was just like that.
You could feel the G force. When the plane pushed up, you sunk into your seat. Then as the plane fell rapidly, you could feel the moments of airtime. You could also watch the nose of the plane going left, then right, then down and left and up and left and down and right, and on and on and on….
I was having a massive airplane teddybear Twilight Zone episode moment. Has anyone ever seen that episode? With William Shatner and the airplane teddy bear that destroys the plane? You should watch it right before a flight…
But then the scariest thought of all came to mind:
The temperature in Boston was hovering slightly above freezing, with torrential rain and wind, and I’m in a flying Fiat. And to sweeten the deal….
This is Boston Logan airport. All runways dead-end straight into the ocean. yay!
We began to descend into the potentially iced-over runway.
All you could see was rain rushing by the window, blanketed by a misty blackness.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, we were beneath the clouds, and literally almost already on top of the runway.
We touched town, but then bounced up.
We actually bounced!
Then landed again.
We began stopping so fast that I was being thrust forward in my seat.
You could feel the plane swerving left and right.
I thought to myself:
Ok. Im in the aisle seat. So if there’s a Southwest woman sucked from the window event…I’m probably safe.
I’m not at the back of the plane… so if there’s a Qantas engine blows up event, I’m not near the engine.
I’m also not at the front of the plane… so if we have a Jet Blue our front wheel explodes and the landing gear catches on fire, I’m also probably not gonna die…
All I could think was “Asiana airlines cartwheeling at SFO”
There’s no way my little flying tricycle could ever withstand that. The plane would break apart instantly.
But luckily, we landed safely.
I guess I didn’t almost die. But still, the drama was there, people, let me tell you
it was thereeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
~ The Dark Horse
(And no the wasn’t proofread. This was written out of trauma! Trauma I say!)