Tag Archives: alone

Alone On Valentine’s Day (Its OK To Be Bitter)

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Ah Yes, its that time of year.  That one day a year when EVERYONE who has a date just loves to tell everyone that they have a date.  The day where marriages that have lasted 50 years are rekindled once more, and when waiting girlfriends become excited fiancés.

Its also the day where lonely people like me sit in front of a TV watching chick flicks eating cookies and pie.  Watching those lucky assholes have the time of their lives.

Bunch of fuckin cunts.

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Ah yes my little lonely lads and lasses.   Its just another holiday in our year that reminds us  we are alone.

But perhaps this is the perfect day for venting, not sobbing?

Perhaps were are viewing Valentine’s day all wrong?

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For you see, Valentine’s Day is also the one day of the year where those who do have love are kind of obligated to sit there and listen to us single people bitch.

….get where I’m going with this?

The new goal for Valentine’s Day is to ruin it for the happy people of the world!  Yes…. yes yes yes!!!!!!!   Put your bitter face on bitches cuz its time to ruin some poor innocent happy person’s day!

hate4Put on your Hulk face its time to go ape shit!

See those happy people over there?  Having a nice little picnic in the park?

 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A NICE LITTLE PICNIC IN THE PARK????? NO!!!! OF COURSE NOT! 

Now run over there and ruin it for them!    Go on!  Pour their wine all over yourself as you stomp on their cute little sandwiches he made to impress her!   Awwwwww….. he even wrapped up the silverware in a cloth napkin just like a restaurant! …….GRAB IT!   YES YOU HEARD ME!   ITS YOURS NOW! You never know when you’ll need a spare fork and knife!

 

 

Oh, would you look at this beautiful restaurant?   He must have paid a fortune to take her here.   He must really want to show her how special she is…… assholes.

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OOOOOHHHHHHH She’s soooooooo impressed.    He’s probably gonna get lucky tonight huh…..  Oh wait but look, you’ve decided to serve them the main course yourself… GO ON!  WALK OVER THERE AND SHOW THEM WHAT THEY WILL BE EATING TONIGHT!

 

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MWUAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!    Now at the top of your lungs scream PIGFUCKERS!!!!!!!  and then run out of the restaurant in the most delightful and disturbing way possible!

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But in all honesty, we shouldn’t ruin a good Valentine’s day for someone else.  But sometimes its nice to imagine it.  Get some of that bad energy out using our imagination.

One thing I do want to let all of you know is that you’re not alone…..  Well i mean you are…. but I’m alone too…. so you’re not alone in the fact that you’re alone?  get it?

If anyone out there is having an absolute awful day call these numbers:

for the USA call the Crisis hotline: 1-800-233-4357

For Australia call lifeline: 13-11-14

For New Zealand Lifeline: 0800 543 354

For all other counties find your crisis line here:

International Crisis Hotline Listings

Please Note:  None of these lines are for suicide only!   Anytime you’re having a really bad day or suffering an episode of ANY KIND:  depression, anxiety, mania, panic attack  ANYTHING!!! They are there to help!  Trust me, in my lifetime I have called all these numbers and you should never be afraid to!

~ The Dark Horse

…..this post wasn’t proof read,  why? ….because its Valentine’s day bitches.

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Alone for Christmas

hey everyone… so the Dark horse is having a Dark Christmas.  

Im from Ohio and this is my first Christmas away from home.. and it is my first warm Christmas….. which is weird and quite awful.  

So I’m used to Christmas looking like this,

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But instead… It looks like this…

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which, I’m sorry to all you Australians, in general I love ya…. but this not Christmas.   This is a disaster of a holiday.

 

Compounding on that problem.  Im completely alone right now  Its about 3pm on Christmas day and I sit here alone in my apartment.  The sun shining, its about 85 degrees outside.  Everyone else in this city is having the time of their fucking lives.  Friends, family, pavlova, the beach, beers… and I’m…sad….alone….miserable…. 

I signed up for this though.  I knew that moving to Australia 3 months before Christmas meant that I obviously would not be spending it with family.  But I guess I thought id have someone by now…. I thought Id have a big group of friends or a boyfriend.  I for some reason thought my life was going to completely change here in Australia. i thought I was going to find that the grass was greener in the other hemisphere.   

The warmth is kind of good though.  Because its hot and sunny and stuff it doesn’t really feel like Christmas.  Like I don’t feel like Im really missing Christmas because it feels so not like Christmas.   

Im not ready to give up yet though.  I do believe that there is a purpose for me here in Australia. I think something good is to come…it has to be… doesn’t it?   Things can’t always stay bad.  At some point things have to get better….right? 

Some Inspiration: Otherwise known as the Anti-Craziness Shower

Ok, so for starters…. this blog has only had 3 views total! hahah!   Oh man…. ok blogosphere, I, The Dark Horse, am gonna keep writing this even if nobody reads itm because dammit, it makes me feel better! 

 

So I’m listening to Hairspray right now and its making me feel good, so this post will be all about making yourself feel good when you’re down!  

Without Love, Hairspray (2007) :

 

For Starters, play this.  It will make you feel good

OH MY GOD! I KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO TALK ABOUT….

THE ANTI-CRAZINESS SHOWER!

this is what I do when I’m really really sad and I think it can help you as well.  Alright so the goal is to feel like shit and then to feel amazing and great after!

  1. Step one will be to close all the blinds in your room and masturbate.  Sounds crazy?  Well Im sorry, its just how it goes.  Jerking off (how would a girl say they beat off?  diddling? )  anyway, the point is to give yourself pure carnal pleasure but to also give yourself that “just cummed on” sense of pity and gross feeling
  2. now comes step 2!  Jump up! Open all the blinds up in your room and remember that there actually is a world still out there!  Life isn’t over.  In fact its never stopped!  
  3. now, walk to the bathroom and bring your iPod/CD player because, and this is very important, THE AINTI-CRAZINESS SHOWER REQUIRES FUN AND UPBEAT MUSIC! 
  4. in this step its time to shave.  Guys, shave your face, girls shave your legs or cooch or whatever… hell boys, shave your cooch too!  The point of shaving is to make you feel all crisp and clean and nice… to get you feeling more human again! 
  5. now put that music on!  Might I suggest Lose Myself by Lauren Hill?  or hell some Disney?  Under The Sea is always a winner! 
  6. grab your toothbrush.  you must brush your teeth in the shower.  this is another step in the whole clean body, clean mind thing.
  7. Get in shower. Brush Teeth, Use soap and clean!  Wash everywhere!   feet, hair, back!  EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!
  8. Now, the most important step.  DANCE!!  YES! YES YES!!!! DANCE BITCHES!   you stay in that fuckin’ shower and dance to the music for as long as you need to!  This is moment is about you!   
  9. Finally, when you get out (seriously, take AS MUCH time as you want in that shower.  There is no rush)  dry off, and look at yourself in the mirror and remember that you’re still alive. you made it through another day and that you should be happy! 

Ok, so thats what I do when I’m feeling super down….which is a lot these days!  Hope it helps!  

Continue reading Some Inspiration: Otherwise known as the Anti-Craziness Shower