Tag Archives: get better

Dear Depression and Anxiety. A Letter…Well.. A death threat

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My dear, sweet depression and anxiety.   It pains me oh so much to say, but its over.  

It was hard letting go of you, but, I feel its time we part ways.

You were always there for me.  In bed at night…. you were always in my thoughts.  While walking to class, or hanging with friends.  I was always thinking about you.  On the bus…. you sat next to me.  Always reminding me you were there.

And we had some good times together, we really did.  Remember that time I listened to See The Sun by Dido and cried my ass off thinking about how Ive been wasting my life focusing on you?

Remember that time I was walking to work and I had a panic attack and almost fell to the ground?

Or how about all those times I was too scared and too sad to do anything…so I just sat inside all day and all night.

Ah yes, my sweet rose… We have been together for quite sometime

Alas, it is time to end this.  You and I both have better things to do… Well… you don’t… but I do. And thats why Im leaving you.

You’re what we call a one-trick-pony.  Yeah you have that whole sad and afraid thing going on… and yeah I was there with you for a bit… but Im done with that now.  And I just feel that you’re holding me back.

So goodbye and don’t ever come back around and if you do… well.. you’ll see a side of me that Ive never shown you before… I happen to be….

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Completely, absolutely, and fully, Insane

Oh yeah thats right.  I am balls-to-the-wall out of my mind.  And if you ever come back I will kill you.  But not before I torture you.

Hannibal Lecter called the other day and said he was sorry for fucking with me… I won’t go into detail about what happened.. but lets just say his left arm is missing. (Its in my freezer)

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Oh yes.  I will be that “crazy ex” you talk to all your friends about.  The one who still threatens to sacrifice your first born child and will parade around in a suit made of your skin after you’re dead.

Ah, but oh I’m being mean…. I shouldn’t tell you all of this, it will be much more sadistic if I wait until the torture starts to let you know I’m crazy… really see that confusion and fear in your eyes.

Oh but look at me ramble on like an obsessed school girl, anyhow darling, you’ve been warned.

Hugs and Kisses, The Dark Horse

 

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ROLLER COASTERS and panic attacks. LETS HAVE SOME FUN BITCHES!

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So, for anyone who has a panic and anxiety YOU KNOW THIS FACE!  That little kid’s face is exactly how we all feel in that moment when that little voice inside goes, “oh bitch, you’re going down”.   

So what is it about roller coasters that are so scary?  And what is it about panic attacks that are so scary?  

I mean, on a roller coaster we all know there is no real danger… but when you reach the top of that first hill and you can no longer hear the chain lifting the train you know you’re heart always gets going.  

Rollercoasters are designed to fuck with your head and this is actually quite sadistic, but they’re designed to excite us by getting us afraid.  The mind can’t help but feel like its in danger when it sees its about to plummet down a steep hill.  You naturally release the adrenaline and all that fun stuff (well fun when in its a situation like that)

However, panic attacks are much the same.  The adrenaline gets going.  That fear of danger spreads… but what we ned to remember is that just like the roller coaster, there is no real danger.  

Im sure most of you reading this are like me and have had multiple panic attacks… have ANY of them killed us yet?  

NO OF COURSE NOT!   So why is it so fucking hard to not be freaked out by it?   Thats still a question I have as well.  But hey, were in it together at least.

And maybe we could all remember that just like a roller coaster, the panic attack will end. Our train will pull back into the station and we will get out of the car, feet on the ground.  Just keep calm and carry on.  

Ok, now for the fun stuff.  BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO SMILE MORE! 

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This poor man….he is REALLY struggling here

 

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….but clearly not as bad as this girl is.  

 

And I hate to make this post inappropriate but yes… this happened…

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So apparently every year in the UK they have a challenge of how many naked people they can get on a coaster… I was torn between posting pictures of the hot young people, or of the really fat naked old people.. but I assumed id spare your eyes

 

SPEAKING OF NAKED PEOPLE ON RIDES HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE PHENOMENON KNOWN AS 

FLASH MOUNTAIN? 

So get this shit, apparently its a thing for people on the Disney ride Splash Mountain to lift up their shirts!  There’s even a whole website dedicated to it! In fact, the problem got so bad that they literally have someone who sits in a booth inside the ride and looks at photo after photo after photo and if there is nudity he deletes them before they can be shown on the screen! 

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I told ya this was real! hahaha! I love weird cultural things.. people are so stupid.

OK OK ONE LAST ONE TO LEAVE YOU ON A LAUGH

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ya baby ya! 

Alright enjoy your night!

~The Dark Horse

(not proof read as always) 

 

That Obligatory New Years Post (but this one is different)

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So, to start, New Years is my least favorite holiday, rivaled only by Saint Patricks Day.  Facebook becomes filled with annoying status updates about blah blah 2013 was such a great year and Im so grateful and 2014 is sure to better blah blah blah….. and then all the popular people of the world put on their hooker heels and go clubbing and get so obnoxiously drunk that by midnight every street corner is filled with some screaming drunk asshole.  and EVERYONE makes those stupid resolutions that they never keep.

So, to make it simple let me explain with memes.  So most people view New Years resolutions with this delusional puffy cotton candy naivety and it comes out like this:

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But when i hear them blabber on about it all I hear can best be described by meme number 2:

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But my resolution, and i think the resolutions for anyone who is reading this blog is to make a life resolution 

Not something shallow like, “Ill get a six pack by summer” or something uselessly vague like, “Ill experience more” (which, what the flying fuck does that mean?)  Don’t you hate when people make these horribly vague and meaningless resolutions? I just look at them and smile…but inside I’m giving em a good bitch slap.

But yes, back to life resolutions.  Im going to make a resolution to follow for the rest of my life.  For example one thing I need to do is stop with the hooking up.  Using sex to fill a void in my life is only going to continue to hurt me.  And I know what that void needs to be filled with.  Its love.  I need to feel loved.  But sex with some guy I meet online is never going to bring that.  Ive gone about 2 weeks without an online hook up and with the help of therapy and my own damn determination to be the best I can be, I hope to stay that way for the rest of my life. 

I also understand that I need to open myself up for love.  I need to stop having that wall that Ive had for so long because it causes me to not let anyone in.  And I end up feeling alone…which leads me to going on Craigslist…which obviously just continues the cycle

Ok, so thats my 2 life resolutions that Ive already started working on but will continue to do so.  What are yours?  How are you going to change you lives today?  Right now in fact!  Start Now!

I shall leave you with this sappy, instagram-looking, meme created most likely by some hipster… see ya bitches in 2014!

Love, The Dark Horse 

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oh and PS, not sure if I mentioned this yet but I totally don’t proof read theses….I just think and type so sorry if there are mistakes!