Tag Archives: INFJ

INFJ and Emotional Intensity

emotion

 

Hello my fellow INFJ’s!

So, today let’s talk about something we all experience: Emotional Intensity. 

 

Emotional intensity has been described by Imi Lo as:

“Emotional intensity is a form of neuro-diversity that is most often misunderstood by our culture. It is characterized by heightened and intense feelings, a constant stream of both positive and negative feelings — pain, distress, despair, fear, excitement, love, sadness or happiness — sometimes a mixture of many at the same time.”

For those of you out there who like images, I’ve made this:

HAPPY

INFJ types are known for our strengths. Such as being creative, insightful, inspiring and passionate.

These come from our intense sensitivity, which we get from this emotional spectrum.  We can see such beauty, but also such pain. We can see the light and the dark, and we can see them with a sharpness that others can’t.

 

For example, have you ever been talking to someone and they’re going on and on about how great their weekend was?  They’re sitting there saying things like, “OMG we went to this bar and OMG we were there till like 2am…and I was like…OMG I have work Monday, but whatevs right, it’s the weekend?!?!  OMG it was so much fun!” 

And you’re staring at them blankly, almost in pain. Wondering how something so insanely boring and trivial could bring them such joy?

 

Well, that’s the emotional spectrum in play. Normal people can really only feel so much joy and so much pain. They live in a relatively constant stasis, unaware that there could be anything more. And for the most part, not even caring if they ever have more. Because as far as they’re concerned, they’re happy.

But not us. When we hear them talk, our stomachs sink and our palms sweat. When you’ve felt intense joy and intense pain, the idea of spending your entire life only 60% switched on is scary.  AND IT SHOULD BE! For us, living that lifestyle would mean that we aren’t letting ourselves flourish. We need more because we know that there is more. 

dunst

For us, living that kind of life would be like being locked in a cage for eternity.

 

That’s why INFJ types are natural artists, travelers, philosophers, teachers, and preachers. We need more.  We need to feel like we have a cause. Like we have a purpose. 

And sadly, a lot of us don’t get nurtured and supported the way we should. A lot of people don’t understand us or refuse to help.  Then, our sensitive nature, which could have been there to push us to be the best we can be, ends up devouring us.

We wonder why nobody gets us and why nobody cares. We wonder why we’re so different…why everyone says it’s so wrong for us to just be…us. And thus, we fall to the dreaded INFJ dark side.

darke

 

But, we don’t have to.  We don’t have to hate ourselves. We don’t have to feel like crap. We don’t have to let society tell us that we’re bad for feeling such intense emotions.

Will people always tell us that our head is in the clouds?    Yes.

Just remember you’re not alone. There are other INFJ’s out there.  We are few and far between, but we are here. And we get you. And we don’t think you’re weird. We think you’re awesome!

bloom

Let yourself bloom!

~ The Dark Horse

 

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INFJ Problems (Or, Normal People Suck)

problems

 

Ok people, let’s get real for like 2 seconds here.  Last week in class I had a total INFJ moment, and was like…. fuck humans.

 

So there was this girl, she’s from North Carolina, she’s super annoying and loves to complain ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME, she’s overweight, and she isn’t very attractive…like at all.   Now I’m not saying this to be mean.  I’m saying this to give you an overview because it’s important to the story.

 

So, I’m in a short story class for the summer, and naturally, we talk about books and stories a lot.  So we we’re talking about 50 Shades.  Like every random thing about it:  How crazy it actually is, how funny it is that older women read it, how it spawned from Twilight fan fiction, and then someone brought up how the BDSM community actually hates it because it’s a portrayal of rape, not BDSM.

And then, the North Carolina girl walks in mid-conversation and is like, “Im sorry y’all, I just don’t approve of BDSM”  and I’m like… Ok.  That’s fine.  This isn’t a conversation about our love of BDSM, we’re just talking about 50 Shades.   And then she’s like, “I’m sorry, I just..I just can’t.  It’s too much for me…” 

 

And so I’m looking at her like Please Shut The Fuck Up You Obnoxious Idiot.   And then I explain to her that even though she doesn’t like BDSM, it exists, and 50 Shades was a cultural phenomenon, and as writers we have to talk about it because it’s one of the best-selling books of all time.  It, despite your hate, is something anyone interested in publishing should think about.  It’s relative to our career field.  You can’t just tell people to not talk about it because you’re around an think you’re too good or too Christian to let your ears hear about it something.

And then she’s like, “Well I’m starting to think you must be into BDSM if you’re going to defend it so heavily”,  and in my head I’m like….

problems1

 

And then I have to explain to her that just because I don’t care if someone is into BDSM, doesn’t mean I’m into BDSM.

And then she’s just starts doing a lot of like weird Southern-sound-things like:

“nnnnaaaawwwww ya’ll, nnnnaaaaaawwwwwwww, nerp, nerp, nnnnaaawwwww, sorry, but nnnaaaawwwww, just can’t ya’ll”

 

So then I break out the big-guns.  and am just like, “Look, I’m not saying this to be mean.  I’m saying this to be honest with you:  You’re relatively large, and you know a lot of society would cringe at the idea of you having sex.   Now I’m sure you can agree that that’s wrong… now take that logic, and apply it to your disgust to BDSM.”

 

But then she’s like, “I CAWNT believe you just said that to me, That is so rude, that is so offensive, blah blah blah” 

 

I however, am not the type to back down. 

 

So, I’m like, No.  I’m showing you that you are unfairly judging a group, the exact same way society judges you.  Now I have a feeling you don’t like the way society judges you, so take that knowledge, and apply it to how you treat others.

problems4

 

The conversation ended with her basically just doing a lot of:

You’re so rude

You’re so mean

I can’t believe you’d say that 

I’m gonna cry

and so on and so on…..

 

And I was just constantly like… No.  I wasn’t saying it in a mean way.  I wasn’t putting you down.  I was showing you your flawed way of thinking.

However, of course, she didn’t care, and I know part of the reason why she got so upset was so the conversation could end making me look like the bad guy, and put the pressure off of her.  Now don’t get me wrong; I know that was a risky conversation.  I know I “went there”  and so forth, but sadly, with some people you gotta go there, otherwise they’ll never self-refelct.

 

Ok enough about that, let’s look into our INFJ-ness and see how that relates that interaction:

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So as you can see, INFJ’s are focused, yet big-picture thinkers, and are insightful, while using our outstanding sense of integrity.   When it comes to formulating ideas we truly use our introversion, intuition, feeling, and judgment to the best of their abilities.

~~What this means is we can put ourselves into other people’s shoes relatively effortlessly.  Such as seeing things from the perspective of someone who likes BDSM).

~~Our big-picture mentality also let’s us see many things too.   Such as, Who is BDSM actually harming?  Nobody?  Ok…then let them do it.  It also helps us to see things like, “well hey this girl is judging others the exact same way she hates being judged…this is wrong”

~~ Our undying integrity keeps our opinions unbiased and fair.  Letting us bring true conversation to the table, not just self-assuring pleasantries that we want to believe.

 

However, society doesn’t get it.   Most people don’t comprehend the idea of holding thoughts because they’re true.  They live in a world of self-propulsion, and if an idea doesn’t tell them what they want to hear, they subconsciously refuse to believe it.  Think of how EVERY smoker you know will always be like, “You know there was this article about a woman who lived to be 100 even though she smoked everyday!” ….that is some A+ self-delusion.  But sadly, it’s so common and most people do that type of thing.  So when an INFJ comes along and defends an opinion, even though we don’t directly benefit from that opinion, it’s seen as some form of witchcraft or something!

 

 

So, what does this mean?  We’re going to be perpetual outcasts?  YES

We will normally hold opinions that may get on other people’s never?  YES

But look above at the jobs that INFJ’s do best.   We are also the movers and the shakers of this world.  We get some of the coolest jobs ON THE PLANET!  We do the things that most people only dream of.  INFJ is know as:

The Protector.

 The counselor.

The Philosopher.

 

Our set of skills (Our very unique and rare set of skills actually) is the combination that has the power to set this world on fire.

 

So remember: Never give in, Never surrender, always stand up for what’s right, and always always always be true to yourself!

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Rock on INFJ’S!

~ The Dark Horse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INFJ Struggles With The Modern World

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So, I was doing some INFJ reading today and I came across a site that talked about how INFJ’s will struggle with the modern workplace.  The quote that really got me was:

“INFJ women and men don’t perform well in modern corporate settings. They are sensitive and often altruistic. Such attributes don’t get rewarded in the rat race.”

And then it went on to give a list of some careers that INFJ’s would hate.  Some of them were things like:

1. Marketing
2. Sales
3. Advertising

And this makes sense.  These kinds of careers are all about helping large companies convince the masses that they need the products the large companies are selling.  You’re literally helping large companies fuck over the world.  And as INFJ’s, with our natural altruism, this is literally our hell.

 

Furthermore, the modern workplace just isn’t right for INFJ’s in general.  The ideals of getting promoted because you simply want more money, or “playing politics” to get ahead,  and just the drama of office culture in general.   We INFJ’s literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about getting ahead at the office.   

 

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As INFJ’s, we seek purpose and meaning, and our goal in life is to change the world for the better.  This also makes office life very hard because the trend in business is to give people repetitive tasks with the sole purpose of helping to increase profits for the company…  INFJ people out there, I can literally hear you sighing with dread right now.  And trust me, I’m right there with you.  This is our hell.  jobs that mean nothing.

ive`1

 

Most INFJ’s crave creativity and meaning.  They say some good job choices for INFJ’s are:

Actor

Visual Artist

Writer

Musician

Teacher

Philosopher

Non-Profit Work

Psychologist / psychiatrist 

Designer

Advocate Work 

 

You can see a common trend in all of these:  They allow the INFJ to be their own person.  Most of these jobs involve a good dose of creativity, whether it be artistic creativity, or the kind of creativity that allows psychologists to embrace the new challenges and demands that each new patient has.

They also don’t require the INFJ to work in some office setting under the watchful eye of their boss, and that boss’ boss’s and so on.  It allows the INFJ to retain a good level of independence.

 

And most importantly people, remember:  INFJ’s are vulnerable to things like burnout, depression, and anxiety when they don’t live the lives they want to.   So, unfortunately we were not gifted with being able to live an easy life.  Our choices are to fight our way through and change the world, or to slowly rot and die in misery.

Look, I know that isn’t the happiest news…but sadly it’s the truth.  And always remember;

“For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know”

 

~ Fight on people!

The Dark Horse

 

THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION: A Primer

Law of Attraction

 

Alright bitches listen up.   This is Law Of Attraction 101.  Sit down and buckle up buttercup cuz were in for one hell of a ride.

The other day I saw a comment from someone who told me about the law of attraction.  Now, the law of attraction isn’t a new concept to me and probably isn’t to any of you out there.  But, it’s something I feel we often forget about or don’t think about and remember enough.  So let’s jump right in!

The principle of the law of attraction is that thoughts, intentions, and beliefs are forms of energy.  And like energies attract to each other.  So for all y’all non-science folk out there, what this means is:

If you think and create a positive atmosphere, you shall receive more positives.  If you create a negative atmosphere, you shall receive more negative.

So, to all my homies out there with depression and anxiety (what! what!) This is SUPER BAD NEWS FOR US because we have a tendency to get lost in the negative and are unable to come out of it.  And you know what DOUBLE SUCKS? A lot of us out there have good reason to be the way we are.  A lot of us have been trampled on by others.  We’ve been treated unfairly.  Perhaps have been through traumatic experiences that haunt us.   So managing to produce positivity into the world is a lot fucking harder said than done.

 

But lets all be real here…

law1

 

If these two fuckers can do it, then so can we.

 

Yeah Pierce Brosnan, enjoy your happy-ever-after you lucky bastard…  Ok ok ok wait.  This is wrong.  I need to be positive and happy.   Must produce good will amongst men and whatnot.

How about this chart?  Let’s see if this helps:

wish2

 

Ok nowhere on this chart does it say that I have to be happy for Pierce Brosnan…

law5

 

Ok but lets be real here.  We need to remember to focus on the good in life.  On something big and meaningful. something good!  And then you need to try and achieve those goals with the most honest and kind intentions you can muster.   Even if others treat you poorly, don’t then also treat others poorly, because all you’re doing is creating another unhappy person on this planet.

 

Still don’t believe me?  Well let’s just see what some other people have to say…

 

 

Ever hear of a little fellow named Albert Einstein?

law7

 

 

 

How about a certain someone named Buddha?

law8

 

 

Or maybe a man named Pierce Brosn…..what wait what?

law9

 

 

Dammit Brosnan!  get out of my damn blog post!  …altought, great quote.

 

So there ya go people.  Just remember.  Produce good.  Receive Good.

 

The Dark Horse

 

Being INFJ During The Trump Era

cunt

So is anyone else out there having a horrid, dying, rotting feeling inside?   Like you’re watching The Empire Strikes Back?  And you’re just watching the Empire somehow constantly win and destroy everything?

Yeah…. you’re not alone.  As INFJ’s we are in for 4 or 8 years of absolute hell.  Because Donald Cunt, I mean, Donald Trump, is everything we stand against.

 

But hey, sit down, pour yourself some tea, and refrain from killing yourself for at least 10 more minutes to read this post because you know what?  We are in this together and there is strength in numbers. 

Let’s start with the problems of this pathetic presidency: 

For starters, as INFJ’s we have an inherent sense of altruism that runs through us.   Helping each other for the greater good, using kindness rather than hatred, and leaving society better than how found it, are how we live our lives.    In fact, many INFJ’s see helping people as their purpose in life.  Which is why so many go on to be humanitarians, therapists, and social provocateurs.   We are the movers and the shakers in this world because we KNOW that goodness wins.

So for us to watch this:

cunt1cunt2Detroit Area Mosques Vandalizedcunt4

 

 

This shit kills us inside.     Because another part of being INFJ means that we are very sensitive.   This sensitivity is what gives us our amazing sense of empathy and our ability to know true pain.   And people, let me tell you…knowing that this shit is happening in my country causes me to feel true pain.     What makes everything even worse is that this is SUCH A SMALL SAMPLE OF HOW MANY OF THESE HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ELECTION! 

In fact, the Southern Poverty Law Center has cited over 1,000 reports of Trump-related hate crimes since the election.    It is fucking sickening.

 

 

Furthermore, INFJ’s have a great sense of intuition.   In fact,introverted intuition is our dominant trait. Just as birds somehow know to migrate in the winter over thousands of miles, we have an inherent and seemingly unearthly ability to just know things.

And people, I knew long before this happened…..

cunt6

 

….. That Donald Trump shouldn’t be president.    And I have a feeling most of you did too.

Which is what crushed us so heavily during this election.  We, already knowing what a crap-basket this man was, had to sit and watch him constantly do and say horrible things like:

cunt7

 

and this:

cunt8

and this:

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And dear God…there are literally so many more…

We had to sit there, watching that, as we heard half of the country praise this man.   It was honestly heartbreaking for me.

SO NOW I’M SURE YOU’RE ASKING:

IS THERE ANY GOOD NEWS?

Well, there is.  Because as INFJ’s we come from a long line of amazing people who have literally turned this world upside down.    Recognize any of these fellow INFJ’s?

 

 

Thats right people!   We are the people who change this damn world.  And you know what, if Donald wants to try to ruin this country, then you can bet your sweet ass that we will be there to try our hardest to stop him.

And always remember, The Empire Strikes back was followed by Return Of The Jedi.  Because c’mon…. evil can’t win.  Especially when you’re as stupid and careless as our current president.

Remember to stay strong, you’re not alone in your pain and misery, and above all else try to change this world for the better!   Sign petitions, go to protests, treat others the way you’d like to be treated, and dear fucking god vote in 2020 and hopefully we may still have something resembling a country afterwards.

 

KICK SOME ASS PEOPLE! 

kick-ass

 

~ The Dark Horse

(no this wasn’t proofread… Donald Trump can’t even read so theres no need proofreading this for him)

There Is Always Hope

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Ugh…. yes I’m annoyed to say, but somehow, hope always prevails.  Its the one thing that gets us through the hard times.  That little fucker that somehow keeps us all going…. even when some of us (myself included) would just wish it would go away so I could kill myself without regrets.  But nope.  That shit doesn’t fly.   There is that little engine that could living within us.

Honestly, hope is like the sun.    This spinning, raging, burning combustion.   From seemingly nowhere, nuclear fusion gives birth energy.   Its gravitational force pulls your soul into its orbit.  keeping it alive.  Keeping warm.   When all else is gone we somehow keep going, all thanks to hope.   Breathing life into a lifeless void.

hope1

 

 

 

Its been over a month since Ive last blogged.  I have been going through a lot.

Back in September I moved back home….ugh…

with my parents…..UUUUGGGHHHH

….IN OHIO.  KILL ME PLEASE! 

So I was going through the normal things a 26 year old who moved back home would go through.  “Im a failure”.  “My life has been a waste”.   And then suddenly the election happened and I learned that half of America are raging hateful idiots who elected a man who looks like one of those puppets from the Land Of Confusion music video.

ITS GREAT TO BE BACK IN AMERICA PEOPLE…cough

However, I learned something as well.   People are not there for you.   You are the only person who can make your dreams come true.  Here I am.  26, with a college education.  I have lived around the world… and yet, I’m working in retail at American Eagle with a bunch of Republicans who think their cousin getting married is the highlight of their year…..

I stopped blogging I was so depressed.   I stopped trying to make friends here (although lets be honest, this is Ohio…I never clicked with anyone here anyways).   I could feel my anxiety coming back into the picture.   I was so depressed I just wanted to sleep all day every day.

but then….

hope2

I could feel it.   The burning.  The power.  The raging source of life that somehow manages to exist despite the world trying to constantly beat it down.

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So, I decided to take life into my own hands.  I decided I was going to stop feeling like I wasn’t good enough.  Like I didn’t deserve happiness.   So, I did what any logical person would do:

hope5

I applied to Harvard, duh.

If I’m going to get my shit together and believe that I’m not a wasted life, well then I’m going to just have to believe that I’m one of the best.   Think of the opportunities this could lead to!  The people I could meet.  The doors that could open.  Im ready to be challenged.  To be the best I can be.  IM READY TO SET THIS FUCKING WORLD ON FIRE (metaphorically of course).

But seriously, for undergrad I went to a preppy little college in Los Angeles as a communications major where class would be canceled because the professor decided to go to the beach… and now I may be at Harvard. A real college.  Surrounded by the best and brightest in the world.   ….. wait…. do you know who I sound like?

hope6

 

And you know what?  Elle Woods is a fucking inspiration for the children so leave her the fuck alone!  She’s awesome!

 

And Im ready for her to pass the baton to me.  Its my turn to turn Harvard on its head and change the fucking world.

AND I SOOOOOOOOO HOPE THAT PEOPLE LOOK AT ME AND GO, “YOU GOT INTO HARVARD?”  SO I CAN RESPOND WITH:

hope7

 

 

So thats it people!   Life works in mysterious ways.   And sometimes we REALLY DO need to just believe in ourselves.   I mean hey, if were on the verge of giving up on life anyways whats the harm in giving it your all before you truly give up?

 

And remember when the dumb cunts in life try to bring you down just remember:

hope8

 

Rock on bitches and never proofread your posts!  Write with passion not precision!

~THE DARK HORSE