Tag Archives: joy

Travel and INFJ (Or, Just Fucking Do It…Its Good For You!)

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Ah, yes the joys of travel.  Waiting in lines at airports, dining on the strange delicacy that is airline food, currency conversion, language barriers, new sights, unfamiliar cities…

The true joys of life, am I’m right guys????

What scares most people is our lifeblood.   Our calling.  Our passion.   Our true nature as an INFJ.

The point of this post?  Well its to say, if you’re INFJ and aren’t traveling DO IT NOW!  And if you are traveling, well I’m sure you’re reaping the benefits!

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Why is it that were born travelers?

Well, for starters we’re born outcasts.    INFJ’s make up only one percent of the entire population!  With 7.125 billion people in this world, that means theres only 71 million of us!   So if you found every INFJ on the planet and put us all together we would only make up the equivalent to the population of France.

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Bonjour all you INFJ’s out there! 

So we’re natural outcasts.   Which you may think sucks (which, it kind of does) but we’re such strong travelers because we’re not phased by being in a new space, by not knowing anyone, by being in different cultures, or by being surrounded by something different…. because well, thats just our life.    Even in our hometowns were surrounded by a different culture than our own all the time!

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Furthermore, travel is that perfect combination of what INFJ’s are.    As INFJ’s we are the combination of the introvert and the extrovert.  Traveling gives us new challenges to think about, to analyze, to feel, to enjoy.

It is the sweetest mental candy your mind will ever taste!

And then we get the extrovert side of us excited as well.   Traveling is visually stunning, Its a cultural experience, You meet new people, you try new foods….and all of this happens in places you’ve never been before.

Your popular friends can fucking go on and on about how much fun they have as they suck down vodka and snort cocaine in the bathroom of some club, but those bitches will never know what a real high feels like.

We have that privilege.  

The high we feel during the take off of an airplane, or that first step outside of an airport and smelling the air of a new place.   The joy we get from learning the wold is a bigger and more beautiful place than one man could ever tame!

That is a real high.  That is a true high.   So next time, tell your the popular kids to suck a dick and then get your ass on a plane! 

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Finally, we as INFJ’s are highly idealistic.  We look not to make excuses about “thats just how it is”, but instead we love to say “but this is how good it could be if we worked for it!”. And travel proves us right.

For anyone who ever says, “Well thats just how it is” traveling gives you proof that they’re wrong.  Why?  Well because you’ve seen it.

How could you possibly not believe in world peace after seeing dolphins play in the Florida Keys? 

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How could you not believe in tranquility after sitting next to a waterfall in Bali? 

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How could you not believe that community is still a real thing after seeing what a funeral looks like in New Orleans?

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….you can’t.    Which is why travel is amazing.

Alright all you INFJ’s (and hell, this goes for humans in general) GET TRAVELING!   GO FIND YOURSELF, BECAUSE REALLY, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??????

~ The Dark Horse

 

 

 

Moving Past Being An “Anxious Person”

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So, I have good news, and some odd and confusing news.  

So i guess lately Ive been thinking about the “next step” in my life.  Where Im going after Australia, and Im starting to think about how great it would be to fall in love and make friends and have adventures.   And I’m thinking less and less and less about ‘how will i survive this day with my anxiety’.  

Am I moving BEYOND anxiety?   Am I actually becoming the person I used to be and not even knowing it?

 

…. no….no that isn’t right…. that must be what is different…. I’m NOT THE OLD ME. 

I don’t let things bother me like I used to.  i don’t respond to situations the same way.  I’m learning  to be better.  Im learning to better myself.  Im learning to not hate myself for being so different.  Im learning to love myself.   Im learning how stand in my own shoes and set fire to anyone who doesn’t like that. 

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Like Robert De Niro from Stardust Im gonna rock that freak flag!  WHY THE FUCK NOT RIGHT? 

So What, maybe I had no friends in high school, but I’ve seen the Northern Lights.

Maybe, Ive never been to a concert, but I have swam with wild manatees, dolphins, and sharks in Florida (For real…It was actually a little dangerous) 

And maybe I’ve never been in love, but I have lived in a foreign country.

 

And you know what?  I’ve met a lot of people along the way.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  And dammit, Im still here.  So fuck you people if you think I’m weird, I LOVE IT

So put on your best Michele Pfeiffer “Imma fuck shit up” face, and well….. fuck shit up (in the good way) 

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The Dog Days of Summer, Or Learning To Relax With Depression and Anxiety

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No, this is not a stock photo.  This really is a picture from my hometown.   This is why I have not been posting!  ;p    Ive been relaxing.  Doing nothing.  And then filling my days with a little more nothing to go with all the nothing I’m doing,   AND IM LOVING IT

So here is what I’m learning about how to keep calm and not let your emotions destroy you:

With anxiety and panic Ive been just kind of been letting it come.  If I get anxious or get panicky I look around and I go…. where is a nice plot of ground I can collapse on?  A drinking fountain near by?   Perhaps a pillow lying conveniently on the floor of my gym?

No?  Oh well.   I suppose I shall fall on the concrete then.

 

And then once I start thinking like, WHO THE FUCK CARES it goes away.   The brain has nothing left to panic or get anxious about because you just told it, even i collapse I don’t care.

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And with depression I have found a few things really help

Number one:

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…. Do i hear you laughing?  I do…. STOP LAUGHING IM SERIOUS!    ice tea is amazing!  It cools your body down, its refreshing, its full of antioxidants, and IT GIVES YOU SOMETHING TO DO WHILE BEING CHEAP.  

When you’re feeling down or feel like your thoughts are eating you away hop in the car, or bus, or just walk, whatever you gotta do to the nearest caffe, coffee shop, or even a generic option like Starbucks…Who happen to have a really nice Iced green tea

…..also Petes Coffee has an amazing iced green tea but EVERYTHING ELSE THEY MAKE IS CRAP 

ok ok enough tea talk.   So what does this do?

1.)  It gives you purpose.  You’re not just sitting around moping.  You’re on your way somewhere. To get something.  To do something.

2.) Lets you interact with the public.  At least for me, when I’m down I tend to burrow myself in a hole.  I feel isolated and usually isolate myself.  Even if I’m in public I can feel completely alone in life.  Going to somewhere new or different can sometimes help just reset the mind into not being such a downer at least, for a moment.

3.)  ITS CHEAP!  unlike your milky, sugary, coffee drinks that can cost you upwards of 5 dollars each.  Ice tea is like 2 or 3 bucks.  So that means you can practice this even if your wallet is the biggest in the world.

4.)  ANTIOXIDANTS!   Must I really make another post about the benefits of tea?   Well i shall not!  But here is a link:

https://youshouldseemyscars.wordpress.com/2014/04/10/tea-always-makes-me-feel-better/

 

So there ya have it!   Relax, be merry, and DRINK TEA! 

…I think i started proofreading this, but then halfway thru i stopped, I’m SUCH a serious writer.

The Dark Horse

Who Says You Cant Come Home? Or, Dealing With Visiting Home When Living Away

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So I flew home yesterday.  Ill be visiting my home in Ohio for almost 3 weeks before I head back down under.   And Already I’m seeing the massive differences between my new home and my hometown.

There are squirrels, bunnies, and deer here.  People dress differently.  Melbourne is a massive cultural hub and meeting point for the world.  Ohio is…. lots of people dressing in clothes they bought at Target.

Melbourne is full of trendy, in shape city people.  Toledo is full of obese, asthma-riddled blue-collar types.

And yet…. there is something oddly charming about my hometown now.  its quiet. REALLY QUIET.  No bustling trams or a busy international airport.   Instead there is lots of grass, fields, and parks.

This is what the riverbank looks like in Melbourne:

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and this is what the riverbank looks like in my hometown:

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But the real challenge will be dealing with the panic and anxiety.

Flying home was amazing!  I was worried that flying and being in the airport while being sick (which i was) would bring out the worst in my panic and anxiety.  But actually it was fine.  I had a really great time.  I love traveling!  i didn’t feel anxious at all during the entire 32 travel experience.

WHICH SHOWS ME THAT I HAVE MADE MASSIVE PROGRESS! 

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WHHHHOOOOOO YA BABY YA! 

So I think my plan is to relax while I’m here and really think about the progress I have made.  REALLY LET IT SINK IN.   FEEL THE CHANGES.  FEEL THE POWER I NOW HAVE. 

When I first started therapy back in December before I left I was like, “…..um…. this….ugh…this is embarrassing but… do you have any tips of ways I can stay calm when I step outside of this building?  Because Im worried I’m going to have a panic attack”

and now Ive crossed the globe while being sick and didn’t even break a sweat.

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So now I turn the spotlight to you dear reader.   Are any of you not realizing your success?   Are you guys like me?  Maybe you have been overcoming your obstacles, but instead of really focusing on it and embracing the changes and being happy about it, you’re nitpicking at the things you still do wrong?

Im gonna ask you to look inside yourself right now.  Think about this:  WAS I THE SAME PERSON 6 MONTHS AGO? 

Are you maybe better than think you are right now?  And then, no matter what you think.  Even if you think you’ve gotten worse over the last 6 months.

SIT BACK

TAKE A BREATH

SMILE (even if you don’t to)

and say, IM ALIVE AND TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. 

~Lets be nice to ourselves today!

The Dark Horse

 

They Who Lick Honey Off Knives, or The Culture Of Ongoing Pain

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So, we read this book in high school called The Lords Of Discipline.  And it was actually a pretty good book but what has always stuck with me was a quote from the main character talking about those who have hurt him and he says,

“The adversary who is truly formidable is the one who works within the fortress walls, singing pleasant songs while licking honey off knives”

This always stuck with me…  The idea of people who hate so much, and who are filled with so much pain that they are willing to really work toward destroying someone.   Like how for do you have rot away on the inside to be this person?

But then I kept rereading the quote over and over and reread the page its on and I remembered its about his mother, and how she hurt him without even knowing it.   She wasn’t even meaning to….it was more about how she never stood up against the norms.  She took her role as “Southern Woman” and so she participated in life as a Southern Woman.  Not standing up to her abusive husband, telling her son to do what a “southern boy” should do, teaching him to live the life of a “General’s son”…. but think about that

She lived her life based on roles that are PASSIVE and taught her children to be the same.

“Southern Wife”

“Southern boy”

“General’s son”

But NONE of these roles allow someone to be the person they WANT TO BE 

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And so many people live in this lifestyle.  Living out roles that have been picked for them, as if its somehow noble to give up who you want to be for who someone told you to be.  And worse, out culture  puts down people who try to be themselves.  People who go….Im a guy but I don’t like football are called gay.  Girls who don’t want to wear heels are called Dykes.  Ugly people who claim they want to be actors are called CRAZY. 

But really are they?  And whats better? Being a crazy gay dyke or being a pussy bitch who never tried to live their own life?

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I mean seriously, you wonder why America’s rates of depression, panic, anxiety, midlife crises, and suicide are so high??????  Maybe as a culture we need to look in the fucking mirror.   Really see the shithole we have dug for ourselves.   And I mean REALLY LOOK HARD 

Why is bullying seen as normal?  Why is it normal for guys to treat girls like shit?   Why is it normal to beat up gay people?

 WHY DO WE CARE ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE SO USELESS (Like gay marriage)

BUT THEN NEVER QUESTION PROBLEMS THAT ARE SO DAMN DESTRUCTIVE? (Like bullying/rape/suicide/) AND INSTEAD GO “boys will be boys” “kids will be kids” or my absolute favorite bullshit excuse… ‘Shit happens”

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Why do we live in a world of black and white?  There are so many beautiful colors in-between that so many people don’t even want to see because…. what?

IS BLACK AND WHITE AN EASIER LIFESTYLE? THERE ARE NO QUESTIONS TO ASK IN A BLACK AND WHITE WORLD…. WHAT IS JUST IS… 

ARE YOU JEALOUS BECAUSE YOURE BLACK AND WHITE? AND SO YOU HATE SOMEONE ELSE IS FREE ENOUGH TO SHIMMER IN A BRILLIANT YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE, OR ALL 3? 

Ill conclude this with a great quote from the movie CONTACT.

So David Drumlin has been chosen to go to space because he backstabbed Ellie Arroway (who should have been the chosen candidate)because he claims that since she is an atheist she shouldn’t have the possibility to meet alien life because she doesn’t represent a majority of the Earth’s population who believe in God… Even though Ellie is the one who discovered the alien life.  So before he gets in the shuttle they have a quick encounter that goes:

David Drumlin: I know you must think this is all very unfair. Maybe that’s an understatement. What you don’t know is I agree. I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, not taken advantage of. Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world.

Ellie Arroway: Funny, I’ve always believed that the world is what we make of it.

Think about that.  Life is what we make of it.  So next time you want to have a “oh thats just the way life is” moment… remember its only that way because we allow it to be. 

Lets start allowing life to be colorful like it was meant to be, ok?

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Believe In Yourself,

THE DARK HORSE