So, I will just start this off by saying that I don’t believe in you. But I’m writing this letter to ask for help just in case you’re real.
Life seems really really hard sometimes. Like insanely, fucking hard. (Can I say “fucking” to you?) I mean if you invented the human race and know all things, you surely would have known that word was going to be invented right? And furthermore, you surely know that when I say “fucking” I’m not actually talking about sex. Im using it as a way to show emphasis on how much pain I’m in sometimes. And if you really do know all things, and knew the word fucking was going to be invented, and used so prevalently, then you can’t possibly be offended by it right? I mean, it’s just a word and you’re God. Don’t you have like planets to build and species to give life to or something?
Anyways, so I’m writing this to make you a deal of sorts.
That deal is this:
If you’re up there, you know me. Im a 25 yr. old guy and I’ve never drank or done drugs. Ive never gone out of my way to hurt anyone and Im a liberal! Im all about giving to the poor, increasing social services, and implementing systems to help reduce crime and misery in my country! Dude, I even have a blog that’s all about trying to help people who are in pain and make their days (and mine) a bit brighter! I’m working towards a better world!!!!!!
Is not believing in you seriously the worst sin I could commit?
Especially since there is literally not a lick of evidence in support of you. Science proves otherwise actually.
(And just between you and me, have you seen the people who believe in you lately?)
…Let me give you a little snapshot
….they’re a bit cult-like. And don’t even get me started on the Catholics and their big pompous dog and pony show.
But back to the topic at hand,
Though I don’t believe in you I AM indeed spreading what you want. Love, hope, and help for those who need it. So let’s just say this: I don’t believe in you, but I’m not an enemy. I’m an ally.
So, since I’m helping you out, here is what I need from you – I need some strength, some courage, and it would be SO CRAZY AMAZINGLY COOL if maybe you could just nudge the fates in my favor a bit? I battle (Ugh…I hate saying that word. I feel like a cancer patient) But anyways, I battle with depression, anxiety, and panic everyday of my life. And I seriously try, and I think I’ve made some major progress, but I also realize I have nothing to live for.
I don’t really have any friends because when you’re 25 and don’t drink or do drugs and don’t enjoy gossiping about others, pretty much nobody wants anything to do with you because you bring down their good (but shallow) time.
And I feel lost. Completely lost. I really want to do something great with my life. I want my voice heard, and I KNOW I CAN DO GREAT THINGS! I want my voice to be heard so I can change the world, give people hope, and inspire people to want more.
And for those people who are mean to others? Well, someone needs to stick up for the little guy and tell the bullies to fuck off!
So anyways, God. Help me out. Throw me some cosmic slack. Let me meet some amazing people. People who can give me hope again that I can be happy, and maybe help me be one of the lucky ones where my voice can be heard? Maybe this blog could somehow go viral or I can get a book deal or something?
Im trying, so hopefully you’re trying too, deal?
Do I say Amen here? I mean you can’t possibly be that pompous to make everyone say amen when speaking to you right? Im sure if you’re real you have to be way more chill than that.
So let’s just agree to disagree, but know we are working towards the same thing.
~The Dark Horse