Tag Archives: new year

The Post-Christmas Blues

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So, this time of year is always the same.

After the rush. After the hustle and bustle. After all the lights, the music, the food, comes the quiet.

The silence.

The after-Christmas nothingness.  And I fucking hate it.

 

Everyone has gone back to their own lives, taking their presents and their presence with them.

And life seems to slow to a halt. The magic is all used up. And somehow, everyone seems to be so ok with it.

Everyone besides me seems to love when Christmas is over. “I’m exhausted” they say. “I’m broke” they complain. “The holidays are always so stressful” they shout.

But me, I feel differently.  I love the holidays.  The love the busyness.  I love everything about the rush. And I can’t help but feel a little down every December 26th. It actually shocks me how quickly the world can move on from it.

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At least for my family, we have one day a year when everyone gets together. We have one day a year when we eat a meal together. We have one day a year when we can surprise each other with gifts…

But somehow, even this one single day seems to be too much time for my family.

Christmas seems to be an inconvenience more than a holiday.

We hit a new record this year: My aunt arrived at about 6pm Christmas Eve. Stayed till around midnight. Then came back Christmas morning for one hour to say goodbye, and grab her presents.  That’s a total of 7 hours. How many hours are in a year?

8760.

And she could only spare 7?

7 is 0.079908675799087% of 8760

That’s how much time I got to spend with my aunt this year…

 

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If I ever find love in my life, the person needs to come from a huge family. I want to experience a real Christmas sometime. Where spare rooms rooms are filled with family members. Where Christmas dinner is a feast. Where opening presents is a cherished and ornate spectacle.  I hate this rushed and sloppy Christmas that my family has.

I hate that my family treats the holidays like a burden.

And shortly after my aunt left, my brother and his girlfriend left. And the day after Christmas, my mom and dad were back to work. And I’m left wondering why I invested all this time and energy to fly home from Boston just to be surrounded for one day by people who could care less, and now… surrounded by nothingness.

I assure you, I think Boston is lame, and I’m so excited to start my new job in New York after the new year. But there is way more to do in Boston than Ohio. I’d much rather be spending my time off from school and work in a city like Boston where I could be doing things… I came home for family, and it seems like none of them care.

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But, even though this sucks, I’m going to try and keep my spirits high.

I have a new job that I’m really excited about in a new city… and not just any city, but New York City. I have so much to look forward to in 2019. 

I’m going to be finishing up my thesis, working towards to completing a book that I hope to get published. I’m going to start working for an awesome media company. I have so much going on in my future.  And I won’t let this post-holiday sadness derail me from my excitement.

So,

Yes, the holidays sucked this year .

 

But, ya know what, fuck 2018.  2019, here I come! 

2019

 

~ The Dark Horse

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That Obligatory New Years Post (but this one is different)

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So, to start, New Years is my least favorite holiday, rivaled only by Saint Patricks Day.  Facebook becomes filled with annoying status updates about blah blah 2013 was such a great year and Im so grateful and 2014 is sure to better blah blah blah….. and then all the popular people of the world put on their hooker heels and go clubbing and get so obnoxiously drunk that by midnight every street corner is filled with some screaming drunk asshole.  and EVERYONE makes those stupid resolutions that they never keep.

So, to make it simple let me explain with memes.  So most people view New Years resolutions with this delusional puffy cotton candy naivety and it comes out like this:

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But when i hear them blabber on about it all I hear can best be described by meme number 2:

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But my resolution, and i think the resolutions for anyone who is reading this blog is to make a life resolution 

Not something shallow like, “Ill get a six pack by summer” or something uselessly vague like, “Ill experience more” (which, what the flying fuck does that mean?)  Don’t you hate when people make these horribly vague and meaningless resolutions? I just look at them and smile…but inside I’m giving em a good bitch slap.

But yes, back to life resolutions.  Im going to make a resolution to follow for the rest of my life.  For example one thing I need to do is stop with the hooking up.  Using sex to fill a void in my life is only going to continue to hurt me.  And I know what that void needs to be filled with.  Its love.  I need to feel loved.  But sex with some guy I meet online is never going to bring that.  Ive gone about 2 weeks without an online hook up and with the help of therapy and my own damn determination to be the best I can be, I hope to stay that way for the rest of my life. 

I also understand that I need to open myself up for love.  I need to stop having that wall that Ive had for so long because it causes me to not let anyone in.  And I end up feeling alone…which leads me to going on Craigslist…which obviously just continues the cycle

Ok, so thats my 2 life resolutions that Ive already started working on but will continue to do so.  What are yours?  How are you going to change you lives today?  Right now in fact!  Start Now!

I shall leave you with this sappy, instagram-looking, meme created most likely by some hipster… see ya bitches in 2014!

Love, The Dark Horse 

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oh and PS, not sure if I mentioned this yet but I totally don’t proof read theses….I just think and type so sorry if there are mistakes!