Tag Archives: stress

UGH I CANT HANDLE THIS! ,Or, Getting Through The Tough Times

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Im sure you all know what Im talking about.  That crazy, stressed, bored, depressed, anxious, angry feeling you get when you are doing something you just don’t want to do.

That moment (but most likely longer than a moment) you just want to end.

Right now I’m feeling that.   I have 6 days left at work.  6 FUCKING DAYS, IT SEEMS SO SIMPLE RIGHT?????

But when you have gone almost a year being your horrible bosses bitch to try to get that promotion and stay on the good graces and keep your job in a time when lets face it, so many Americans don’t make good money…. WELL THAT 6 DAYS SEEMS LIKE A DEATH SENTENCE. 

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I kind of am just praying for a tornado to strike.  A bomb threat to be called in.  ANYTHING really to make me not have to go in these last 6 days.

Why do I feel like this?

Because I have found myself again….well I’ve been getting closer.  Ive finally started seeing the bigger picture of life again.  Ive been seeing what it is I want to see and the person who I want to be.

And believe me people, working as management in retail selling horribly cheap clothing that falls apart and was constructed through slave labor in Bangladesh isn’t me.  It never was, it isn’t, and it never will be.

and seriously….. fuck them.

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So what do we do?

How do we get through these moments where we just want to go complete Charles Manson on the world?

Well heres what I’m doing.

1.) Focusing on the future. I just keep reminding myself that I have 6 days left.  After that I have some time with the family and then I’m moving to New Zealand…. my boss will still be a 40yr old woman selling cheap clothing to tweens…who is the real winner?  ….me.

2.) Focusing on what i will do differently next time.  For me, it is to not work in retail anymore….well actually it is to not work a shit job in general.  Im 25 now with a college degree.  Im going to start going after what I want.  I don’t care how low my self esteem is and how much I think I will fail.  Im going to actually try at life.

3.) Imaging bad things happening to the store.   Oh sure this is horribly immature but trust me, some good cathartic release always helps.  Hate where you are?  Well take some time to sit back, relax, take a deep breath, and try to imagine an earthquake coming though and destroying the place. Or maybe its a comet?  Or the poltergeists of the spirits of the ancient turtle people who live underground because your store MAY HAVE BEEN built on the site of a Native American battle?????  I MEAN IT COULD HAPPEN RIGHT????? 

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In any event, lets get through this together ok?

I can do it, you can do it, and we can help each other.

also, sorry for the cheesy clip art of “stressed people”.  I found them amusing

~ The Dark Horse

Being Tired And Anxiety (Or, My Trip To Canada And Beyond…..There Wasn’t Really A Beyond, It Just Sounded Nice)

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So, for the last 2 days I took a trip to London, Ontario.   It is a really cool small city filled with amazing food, cute river bends, and quaint historical neighborhoods.

The topic at hand is what being tired does to you when you have anxiety and I will be using my trip as an example considering that for about a 48 hour period I got maybe 6 hours of sleep total.

The night before the trip I slept like 4 hours maybe because of how excited I was.  I then got up at 730am to meet for breakfast before the drive to Canada.   The day was amazing.   The drive was long but smooth, hardly any traffic, the hotel was nice, great food, a festival was going on, and everything was just great!

The night however, was awful.   My friend I was with has….um….sleeping problems which I was not aware of until that night.  She has no problems sleeping, however, she moans and makes crying noises all through the night.  People, I am not kidding.  I wasn’t able to sleep at all.  Constant sounds filled the room like she was having a nightmare. A constant nightmare. From midnight until 8am when I hit her with a pillow and told her to get the fuck up.

The day still was…..um..ok.   Still filled with great people and great food and a great city.  However, my friend was now driving me insane.   I was tired and I was no longer to pretend I wasn’t annoyed and tired, and so every time she made a comment I didn’t like I kind of maybe snapped just a little bit.  But for the most part, all good.

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The drive home however is when everything got bad.   I was very tired.  i was very annoyed.  And most importantly I didn’t want to be anywhere near her.   However, I had a 5 hour drive to be stuck with her.   Thoughts of how agonizing those 5 hours would be filled my head.  Dread consumed me and I began to fall into a panicked and depressed state.   About 20 minutes into the drive home I was off the wall.  Hardcore balls to the wall white-knuckling it.

I finally snapped and pulled over and was like, “You’re driving, I can’t”.   Confused she traded me places.  I put on some soft music and looked out the window for about 4 hours until we were back in America and only had an hour left in the drive.  I told her I was going to drive again and rushed towards home.

I dropped her off back at her home and felt like a weight had been lifted.  I was free to be myself.   Free to be calm.  Free to not have her there.

Free to go about my life.

So here are some tips I learned so you don’t have to hit the wall

1.)  SLEEP IS SO SO SO IMPORTANT WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC AND DEPRESSION. They fuck with your hormones, blood sugar levels, consume energy, and leave you feeling like you’re going to die.   NEVER EVER MISS OUT ON A GOOD NIGHTS REST… but if you do…..

2.) drink lots of fluids.   It really helps.  Why?  Oh I don’t know, I’m no scientist.   Im sure it has something to do with it helping the flow of electrolytes or keeps your body all hydrated and flowing properly or something.  Just do it.  it works

3.)  Rest if you need to.   Try to sit and get a drink or a snack before you fall into the panic attack.   Stop it before it happens

4.) Remove your stressors.  For example, I will never ever travel with that girl ever again.   I know now that was a mistake and I won’t repeat it.

But at the end of the day, and most importantly, I lived.  I didn’t die from my anxiety or panic or dread of being with her.  Life goes on, the dun will rise again, and so will you

~The Dark Horse

PS- this wasn’t proof-read.  It was written out a deep need to vent and rant and be a crazy person…. oh hey there is anotehr thing to help!

5.)  VENT AND RANT IF NEED BE!