Tag Archives: Wild

Dispatches From The Far North

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Have I ever mentioned that after college I ran away into the woods?

 

LA had worn me down and beaten me to the ground. I was so depressed I could barely stand up most of the time. And then that’s when I discovered American Transcendentalism, and the ideals of running away and escaping capitalist society.

I took Thoreau for his word and ran away.  And now that I’m older and read Thoreau more clearly, I’m pretty fuckin annoyed… because he never actually ran away. He lived on a lake only a few miles from town. He literally would walk home and eat with his family and shit… what a twat.

I on the other hand, during my period of total infatuation with his ideas, really did run away into the middle of nowhere. Where there were no roads. No phones. No sewage systems…

I went to the Northwest Territories, a little north of the Great Slave Lake.

There, I lived in a “cabin” which was really just a plywood box that was covered in arctic tarp. Recently, I found the pictures I took of inside my cabin.

Whenever I’m feeling down, writing and art has always saved me. And so, being up there was no different.  Armed with nothing but sidewalk chalk (why was there sidewalk chalk? I have no idea…) Anyways, armed with sidewalk chalk and bare plywood walls, I got to work.

Here are a few of my derelict masterpieces:

 

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Here, with CHERRY BOOM, I needed color, and I need fun. I went for a retro-Pac Man thing because it was exciting.  It was something that made me feel like I wasn’t completely lost from society. A memento that there was a world full of video games, ice tea, and mattresses that I could return to at some point.

 

 

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This was my manifesto to the world. I wrote this, and then read this to myself every night before going to sleep. It was a way for me to tell myself that I’m not done. I went to the woods to find myself, but the woods wouldn’t be my final resting place.

 

 

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My absolute favorite.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written these words in my journal, or said this under my breath as I’m about to take on a challenging day. The albatross has always been my spirit animal. They’re so large, so misunderstood, and so solitary, that it’s hard to imagine how they survive. But, against the odds, and against the elements, these birds flourish, even though they can spend months over the open ocean without ever even seeing land. They’re stronger than you’d ever believe. And so, I look to the albatross, flying high, for inspiration.

 

Eye to the sky!

 

~ The Dark Horse

Moving Past The Past

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Have any of you seen the movie WILD with Reese Witherspoon?  It is absolutely amazing, cringeworthy, inspirational, and tear-jerking.

But the one thing I love most about this movie is that it shows that you can overcome your past no matter how bad it is.  Which for me, and probably most of you reading this blog… thats a very good thing to see.

I won’t spoil the plot of so here is a super brief synopsis.  Reese, bad past. Walks the pacific crest trail to try to prove to herself she is worth something, just watch the damn film will you!

But here is what it means for me:   The ability to have the future bot repeat the past

Like I’ve mentioned before Im moving to New Zealand soon and I’m terrified but also insanely excited.  What I’m terrified of is repeating the past.  Allowing negativity of others bring me down. Allowing memories of past failures fill my head

Also memories of being made fun of as a kid.  memories of nobody believing in me.  Memories of letting my parents down.

Memories memories memories.  Until my brain was nothing but bad memories.  I couldn’t even think about the present or the future.  I was lost in my own head

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This is kind of who I looked when I returned from Australia.  This is not how I will let New Zealand go.  I have changed.  I know I have

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Oh yes… shit will go wrong.  I will probably have times where i wonder why I’m there.  What the fuck I’m doing with my life and times when i will cry and pray i was a child again back at home

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But I will also meet some great new people
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But most importantly I will see the beauty of a new place…. and ill get that damn show back!

~ Rock on bitches

The Dark Horse