Tag Archives: woke

I Am On Neither Side – Here’s Why

BLM

So, a few hours ago, a group of black protesters marched down my street, chanting:

“Whose Street is This?”

“Our Street!”

I’m not sure how I feel about that. Nor am I sure what they were trying to say with that. That isn’t the type of rhetoric that really brings about images of equality.

But, I also understand that right now, nobody cares.

America is in a state of mass hysteria. There are two trains running along the same track, about the collide. One, the Trump train, the other, the #Woke train. You have two choices. You either hop onboard on of those two trains and go balls-to-the-wall, no questions asked, completely 100% dedicated to your team…Or, you sit on the sidelines, where nobody will like you and nobody will want to listen to you.

That’s where I am. Sadly, logic doesn’t exist right now. Nobody wants it. They want passion, anger, and a sense of self-importance.

trump

If you’re woke, you get your self-importance from publicly displaying your trauma. Your oppression. And your discrimination. If you’re a white male and have none of those things, you have to delude yourself with your own ego and take on the role of the “white savior” to feel complete inside.

If you’re on the Trump train, you have to use words like “History,” “Patriotism,” “strength,” “preserving the past,” and “law and order” to make yourself feel superior. You have to believe that you’re the last remaining pillar holding this country up from the cretins beneath you.

I am neither.  People, listen to me. I am a gay guy from Ohio. I grew up getting beaten up. Being told I’d die of AIDS. Being told I’d go to hell. And being told I was worthless. My mother was (and still sort of is) homophobic. I had nobody to talk to about anything.

Once, my roommate, who I thought was straight, woke me up in the middle of the night, while he was high on meth, and tried to rape me. I have suffered from depression, anxiety, panic, and actual agoraphobia. I ran away from home and was having sex for money in LA. I was almost murdered in New Zealand by two homophobic Maori guys. And I’m still broken. Because I never got to be young, I became a fucked up stunted adult who never learned how to play ball with society, and therefore, remains alone and friendless.

I don’t say this for pity. I hate pity. I’m saying this to set up my argument, which is this –
I AM A WHITE MAN, BUT I KNOW OPPRESSION. 

I can’t get on the Trump train because I know pain. I know 100% that this country needs a better education system. We need livable wages. We need healthcare. We need gun control. We need to help those who need it. Getting healthcare to the masses is more important to me than saving a stupid statue of a Confederate soldier, and it always will be. The end.

However, I can’t get on the #Woke train either, because, unfortunately, it’s selfish and full of shit. I have been harassed by so many black and Latino people in my life. You call them a nigger and they will kill you. And yet, they’ve never hesitated calling me a faggot.

Furthermore, during my time on the East Cost – here in NYC and back in grad school at Harvard – how many of these liberal East Coasters have ever tried to get to know me? I honestly ask you this – How many do you think have ever asked me about my life?

BLM protest

I’ve been called a Trump supporter, a racist, a homophobe, transphobic, self-hating, sexist, you name it. People here have gleefully judged me and assumed they know me because I’m a white guy from Ohio…But how many of them ever took a few seconds out of their day to know the truth?  The answer, unfortunately, is zero.

And that’s because they don’t want to know the truth. They want to feel superior. They want to feel like they’ve been through more than everyone else around them. They want to feel pure. Like they’re martyrs. Wokeness is a show, not a call to action. Wokeness is simply about “sharing your story,” AKA: Pandering for attention.

And so, I will sit on the sidelines, alone. Because I’d rather be alone than partake in the absolute shitshow that is this country. Ya’ll can love yourselves and hate everyone else all you want. Look at where it’s gotten us so far.

~ The Dark Horse

(This wasn’t proofread, deal with it)

Liberals, What Happened to You?

Dear liberals…. WTF happened to you?

First off, if you haven’t seen this video yet, just don’t watch it. It’s embarrassing and saddening. A woman was confronted by a man in Central Park. The guy started filming, so she lost her mind, said something racist, and basically unknowingly choked her dog for 2 minutes.

But what’s even worse is the liberal response.

Now look, I’m very liberal. I believe in equality for all. I believe that no black man should be assaulted and murdered by police officers. I believe that we need to help correct those in our society who are doing bad things. And I am in NO WAY saying that what this woman said isn’t racist. Bringing up his race on a phone call to the cops to intimidate him was racist.

HOWEVER – I recently joined Twitter (like, literally last week) and that’s how I found out about this incident.

The night it happened, before the news even broke, twitter liberals and black people were spreading around her photos, her name, her phone number, her LinkedIn account, and her place of employment.

Liberals. We can’t fight the Klan if we start acting like the Klan.

Sharing this woman’s personal info put her at risk of assault.

AND EVEN WORSE – I decided to take a stand and scream into the Twitter void, saying that sharing this woman’s private info is dangerous. And getting this woman killed because she’s a racist isn’t the solution to our problem.

I was met with nothing but liberals saying “I don’t care.” “She deserves it.” “Whatever happens to her, she brought it upon herself.” Hundreds of people. And many more liked these comments. And many shared and retweeted them. And joined in on the public assault of this random woman.

So liberals, I ask you – This woman just lost her job during the COVID-19 pandemic. She will likely never be hired again. She can’t show her face in public. And the crazy people on twitter now know exactly where to find her.

If she commits suicide or is beaten half to death tomorrow, what will you think?
How can you call yourself “woke” “liberal” and “forward-thinking” if you don’t even care about someone’s life? The respect we show our enemies says a lot about us.

The fact that you don’t care if someone dies simply because they are racist is scary. Racists are ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY. This country was founded on racism. So, what’s the plan liberals? Are we just going to kill off 100 million Americans? Then we’ll be fine? We just need to harass and threaten every racist until each and every one has killed themselves?

Also – there’s the issue of: This guy approached her. And he’s the one who started filming. And he’s the one who posted it to Twitter. So all this “She tried to get him killed” crap doesn’t really hold. He’s more likely to get her killed.

Anyways – EVEN WORSE – is that as a white man, saying this stuff means nothing. So far, I’ve been met with nothing but “Oh you’re just a white guy and this scares you because now you know that you can’t be racist anymore.” and “You’re just afraid of white people losing power in this word” and “You’ll never understand how afraid black people are, it’s about time we made white people just as scared.”

Like, seriously? Trying to to change the world civilly is now just “white privilege?”

Anyways, whatever liberals. Y’all want a race war, y’all can fight it without me. I’m not playing this game. I want this country to be better. I want you to be better.

~ The Dark Horse

(No, this wasn’t proofread. I’m angry and I don’t feel like making corrections.)

Things Overheard in a Brooklyn Coffeeshop

brooklyn

So, recently, I made a post about how annoying coffeeshops in NYC are. And today I’m here to give you a great example.

Ok, so… It is currently 11am on a Wednesday. I am writing an article for the magazine, doing actual work. A sloppy “woke” gay with dyed bleach blonde hair and a girl (both looking late-twenties) sat down right across from me.

 

Here is what I’m now listening to.  Please keep in mind, NONE of this is made up. This is verbatim what I’m hearing right now as I’m trying to do work….

So, the gay guy started telling her about how great his career as a hair stylist is going. He’s apparently doing really well. His husband is also doing well. What does his husband do? He sells PrEP (the anti-HIV drug) on the streets. Good for him, right? A real entrepreneur…

But, ugh oh… drama was right around the corner. This guy and his husband met a 3rd guy for a “thruple.” However, his husband wasn’t getting along with the 3rd guy. So this guy kept hooking up with the new guy on the side. You see, that’s how mature people handle problems…

But ugh oh…. Big shock here! A few months into the affair, the 3rd guy revealed that he’s a heroin addict. And he started pulling this guy away from his husband, demanding more and more of his time to help kick his addiction.

drugs

But the stress of all this was too much for this guy, and he couldn’t handle cheating on his husband with a heroin addict, so he turned to the only thing that was ever there for him… alcohol. And he then he relapsed and his health got bad.

So now he’s looking for alcoholic support groups, but HOW IS HE GOING TO TELL HIS HUSBAND ABOUT THE AFFAIR WITH THE HEROIN ADDICT? 

So now, he’s like, totally stressing out with this girl, pouring his absolute heart out to her, telling her ever gritty little kinky detail about his life.  And what’s weird, is that they sound like they’re enjoying it.

OH MY GOD now she’s crying. Now she’s got boy problems. She literally just said,
(sniffle) I’m sorry, today is supposed to be about you, but this is making me think of what’s (sniffle) going on in my life!”

crying

But back to what I was saying… these two seem too happy. They seem to really love loudly blabbing about their lives. They keep talking about these horrible things, while also seeming like they’re kind of enjoying it. It’s like the gossip is so juicy that they’re happy to have it in their lives…. even though it’s tearing them apart.

So, for anyone who was annoyed with my last post and thought I was being dramatic…

Nope.

This is literally what Brooklyn is. Rich kids with nothing to do and nowhere to go, self-destructing because, why not? They have no real problems, so they have to willingly walk into them.

Fuck Williamsburg.

 

~ The Dark Horse

 

What is a Disenfranchised Student?

college

So, with this whole scandal and debate about college students and admissions, it has got me thinking a lot about my time in college, both in undergrad, and now as a grad student.

On top of that, because of the scandal, I’m hearing a lot of the “White privilege” argument. So it’s got me asking myself a lot about my time in school – This article is not going to try to say that white privilege doesn’t exist, because it does.

This article is actually about me asking, What is a first generation student?

Who deserves resources?

What groups are being forgotten?

Let me explain my situation with college. I am not the first generation of my family to go to college. My parents were the first (which is rather normal in America, so I’m going to make this about my parents being “first gen” or anything)

I am, however, the first in my family to go to what I’m going to call ‘real college’. My parents went to the local university in my hometown. This university is what’s considered a “not ranked” school. Meaning, it’s not competitive and it lets anyone in. Your ACT and SAT scores don’t matter, they don’t require any essays to be written, no recommendation letters – nothing. This university will even have billboards up during the first week of classes that saying things like “Classes have only just begun! You can still enroll! Call now!” 

Students and tourists rest in lawn chairs in Harvard Yard, the open old heart of Harvard University campus

Back when my parents were in school, college was also much different. They paid their way through full-time school with their part-time jobs – Something that can’t be done today. They both lived at home as they attended school (as many in my hometown do) and after graduating, their part-time jobs turned to full-time and so they never had to deal with internships and applying to jobs “within their field” and all of that.

In recent years, this particular school admits tons of low-income and minority students. To make sure that these students don’t drop out, the university has instated a massive grading curve. So a B- student becomes an A+ student leading the class.

So, my point is this: Yes, may parents wen to “college”. But they had never gone to anything that resembles what Americans think colleges are.

I was the first in my family to have to save up for college while in high school. I was the first to take an ACT test. I was the first to write admissions essays. The first to need letters of recommendation. The first to leave my hometown. The first to live in a dorm on campus. The first to compete for internships. And now, the first to attend graduate school.

college2

I had no help or guidance on these things, because nobody in my family had ever done any of it before. So, am I a first generation student? 

And if not, what am I?

I think of all the mistakes I made while in school. All the things I didn’t know. I went from being harassed for being gay every single day in my hometown by my peers, to suddenly living in a building with hundreds of them. My parents had never had an internship before and had no idea what and internship actually consisted of. I didn’t know what entering a job market looked like. There’s so much I didn’t know. So much I didn’t understand. And so much I did wrong, out of ignorance.

But because I’m a white male who’s parents technically attended college, nobody ever paid a single ounce of attention to me. There was no help. No resources. No programs. No groups.

Nothing.

campus 5

And it’s still hard. It’s hard that in this 2019 environment, anytime I open my mouth about a difficulty I’ve been through, everyone just moans and groans, and gives you this “UGH, ANOTHER WHITE PERSON WHO THINKS THEY HAVE PROBLEMS….”

So, the question becomes: Are we still forgetting about students? 

Is there a group of young people out there that society is assuming is doing fine, but is actually lost? Are there people out who need help but don’t know where to go, and feel as though they have no options?

college 7

I think we can all admit that my college situation is very different from Felicity Huffman’s daughter. So why is it just assumed that all white people are the same?

Our society needs to focus on race. We needed affirmative action to get people of color into schools and jobs. We need groups for minority students who are disenfranchised. We need funded programs for first gen students, I am in no way saying that needs to stop. 

What I am saying though, is that there are disenfranchised white people too. Liberalism and #Wokeness has seemed to become just as blinded by anger against whites as the racists they claim to hate. The world isn’t as clear and simple as “White people get everything, colored people get nothing.” We won’t solve real problems that way.

Oppression comes in various forms for different people. Oppression, discrimination, domination can come in forms beyond race – there’s age, wealth, sexuality, gender, history of abuse, mental illness, religion, and more. It’s complex. It’s messy. It’s shitty.

But it’s reality. 

Harvard campus with brilliant fall foliage

So, I pose this question to the world.

What do we do?

How do we ensure that we’re helping all people who need it. How do we help prevent people from falling through the cracks of society?

How do we help make things better?

 

~ The Dark Horse

Changes I Hope To See In The Jagged Little Pill Musical

Jagged Little Pill

So, over the summer, Jagged Little Pill premiered at Harvard, and I’ve just discovered it’s going to be on Broadway in the Fall.  WOOHOO!!!!

Let’s get this out of the way right now… The music IS FUCKIN’ AMAZING!  I am a huge Alanis fan and love her music and this musical was everything I could have ever wanted music-wise.

Unfortunately though…the plot was… errrr…um… pretty shit.

The musical focuses on a family and all the problems they have in the Post-Trump era. The musical has only one rounded character (meaning a character that isn’t just a one-dimensional walking stereotype) and that’s the mom who is part of America’s opioid crisis. SHE IS A FUCKING AMAZING ACTRESS WITH AN AMAZING VOICE. The Tony goes to…

 

Aside from her the problems begin, and let’s dive into them here..

The daughter…

jagged little pill 1

Celia Gooding plays the daughter Frankie, who is black and adopted by a white family. She is also a wonderful actress with a powerful voice. However, her storyline is just fucking crap. She blames every single thing in her life on being black.

Frankie is dating a…I don’t know…the musical doesn’t actually give clear signals about this.  In the beginning you assume Frankie is dating another girl, a tomboy type lesbian. But as the play goes on it’s revealed that her girlfriend doesn’t like being called a girl. Whether it’s a story about her being trans or just gender nonconforming is unknown, all we know is that anytime someone addressed the partner as a girl, the partner has a mental breakdown and runs of crying… (so there’s another problem)

Anyways, so Frankie cheats on her partner with a cis-man. Her partner finds out and gets mad at Frankie, and Frankie is like, “You don’t understand! I’m black in a white family. You don’t know what I go through!”

Dear Jagged Little Pill Musical, I know you want to be all woke, but being black isn’t an excuse for cheating on someone… This play feels like it was written by a bunch of really entitled white people who know nothing about oppression and just thought that all these people’s problems could be sourced from their minority status.  It doesn’t work that way.

jagged 3

Later in the play Frankie runs away from New York City because she “feels” (With absolutely no proof, because she comes from a very privileged family who love her) that her family doesn’t love her because she’s black.

When her parents find out, once again Frankie goes, “You don’t understand what it’s like to black!” and the whole family is like, “OMG You’re right! How could we be so stupid?”

Once again, Jagged Little Pill musical… THINK ABOUT THIS ONE…

If you were a parent and you had just discovered your child had ran away, you’re not going to be like, “Oh but she’s black…I guess we gotta understand that she’ll never truly feel loved… oh well..”  NO

NO.

NO.

NO.

A parent would be like, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU??? I’M COMING TO GET YOU! ARE YOU SAFE? USE THE CREDIT AND GET A HOTEL ROOM UNTIL WE GET THERE, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER LIKE THIS! DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARED WE ARE??????”

By having the parents be like…. “whatevz, black gurl gonna’ do what she do” only makes it seem like they actually don’t love her.

 

This brings me to Frankie’s Partner:

jagged 4

Frankie’s gender-unknown partner is just a fuckin’ punching bag the entire show. Someone at school calls her a girl so she cries and mopes and walks away. Her mom tells her to be more like a girl, then she mopes and walks off stage, and then Frankie cheats on her, and she sings You Oughta Know, and the whole audience goes batshit fuckin’ crazy over it…and I’m like….NOOOOOOOOO. NO. NO. NO. This character is such a weak pushover that she doesn’t deserve a stand ovation.  Whether she’s trans or just non-conforming, she still needs to be a human. She needs self agency. She can’t just run around stage crying and being sad the entire fucking play. Give me something more please? 

 

And then… oh lord, there’s the girl who gets raped at a party.

jagged 5

So this girl gets raped at a party, and of course nobody believes her. Because nobody ever believes women….. And she’s mentally ruined and thinks about suicide and all that stuff, and you know everything ever is the fault of men. And then there’s a rally held for her to inspire her and show her that she’s loved… and people on stage are holding up #METOO signs and #TIMESUP signs, and then randomly these black people come on stage and start waving around #BLACKLIVESMATTER posters, and Im like…. A white girl was raped… why is this turning into a black lives matter moment? 

The point is this, This show victimizes women, victimizes black people, and victimizes the trans (or non-binary…it’s never stated) so heavily, that it’s unreal.  It’s like, White men are bad, and everything that ever happens to anyone is IS COMPLETELY THE FAULT OF WHITE MEN.

Have you ever seen that sketch on SNL about liberal high school kids trying to make a play with meaning, but it just comes off as offensively stupid?

SNL

Jagged Little Pill the musical feels like that a lot.

Me and my friend had literal moments during the show when we had to hold back laughter because it was just so….bad.  Like literally, it was as if the creators of the show had concept of reality.

And I’m not the only one who thinks this, check this quote from The New York Times,

“At least for now, this well intentioned and intermittently thrilling musical makes you want to applaud its efforts at “wokeness” while also wondering if wokeness has become just another form of virtue signaling. It feels like what might have happened if the Tribe from “Hair” had actually made it to college”

Or this quote from Variety,

The real downside is that with so much going on, our interest and empathy are unreasonably stretched.

Or this from the Patriot Ledge,

It’s a lot of heavy stuff to digest and after two-and-half hours, Cody wraps up the conflicts as if to mimic a Shakespearean finale. She ties together the ends of plot strands perhaps too neatly to be believed.

 

THE POINT IS THIS JAGGED LITTLE PILL:  I AM ON YOUR SIDE, AND I LOVED THE MUSIC AND A LOT OF THE STORY FROM THE HARVARD RUN OF THE SHOW… BUT I EXPECT THE BROADWAY VERSION TO NOT BE SO SILLY IT’S LAUGHABLE. 

In the meantime, check out a song from the cast recording that was just released, Ive been playing it on loop in the shower:

 

~ The Dark Horse

(Not proofread #Sowwyz!)